bookshelves of doom

Kiki Strike has a fan club in Kennebunk!

I lent my copy of it to a couple of young ladies (13 and 14) and they didn't want to give it back!

Kiki Strike ROCKS.

Guardian Children's Fiction Prize 2006 -- Longlist.

Here it is:

Clay by David Almond -- I've been dying to read this for months.  Still need to snag a copy.

Framed by Frank Cottrell Boyce -- Still haven't even read Millions.  I suck.

Blown Away by Patrick Cave -- Looks interesting, but is the second in a series.

A Swift Pure Cry by Siobhan Dowd -- Don't know.  I'll have to research it further.

Fly by Night by Frances Hardinge -- Everything I've heard about this book is wonderful. 

The Worst Witch Saves the Day by Jill Murphy -- I've still never read any of these.

A Darkling Plain by Philip Reeve -- I'm so behind on this series.  I adored the first book, though.

The Survival Game by Tim Wynne-Jones -- I admit it.  I've never read any Tim Wynne-Jones.  Is it because of the hyphen?  I don't know.

Wow.  If someone read this list without knowing anything about me, they'd think I wasn't much of a reader.  How discouraging.

The Looking Glass Wars -- Frank Beddor

Alyss Heart is the young heir to the throne of Wonderland -- she's charming and mischievous, has a loving family and her powers of imagination are stronger than anything anyone has ever seen before.  Her best friend is Dodge, the son of a high-ranking palace guard.  She spends her time playing practical jokes on her tutor, Bibwit Harte, and running from the only other child of her station, the dreadful Jack of Diamonds. 

Life is good.

Until her Aunt Redd, exiled for years on Mount Isolation, returns to Wondertropolis.  With the help of her smiling shape-shifting nine-lived assassin, The Cat, and her army of cards, she murders the King and Queen. Alyss is forced to flee for her life with the help of the Royal Bodyguard, Hatter Madigan. 

During their rapid journey through the Pool of Tears, they are separated.  Alyss ends up in Victorian London, where no one believes her story.  Eventually, she meets the young Charles Dodgson, who promises to write it all down.

Lewis Carroll got it all wrong in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- even the heroine's name.  The Looking Glass Wars is Alyss' real story.

I wanted to like this book a whole lot more than I actually did.  I was looking forward to it so much. 

But, as much as I liked the idea and the plot, the actual writing didn't do a whole lot for me.  (Rather like my reaction to Jasper Fforde books, actually.)  For the most part, I didn't develop any sort of affection for the characters. 

I liked the idea of Hatter Madigan's weaponry, and even the idea of him as a character, but he himself didn't do much for me.  (Although -- there's a comic book miniseries starring Hatter Madigan with art by Ben Templesmith which looks extremely cool. If nothing else, the marketing campaign for this book is outstanding.)

It's a great, rip-roaring action-adventure novel.  If that's what you're looking for, you'll be very happy with it. 

I was just hoping for something more than that.

[However.  Let it be known that the fabbity-fab Colleen Mondor loved it.]

The Hidden Staircase: Nancy Drew Mystery Stories, #2 -- Carolyn Keene

Okay, in The Hidden Staircase, we learn that Nancy gardens, is good with tools, knows how to glean information from footprints in the mud and has read up on hidden passageways and secret doors.  She also knows how to deal with a wild owl in the house, of all things.  She still loves speeding -- what's the point of having a new blue convertible if you don't participate in a few car chases? 

She also has the amazing ability to determine a very detailed judgment of a person's character after a two-minute conversation:

Nancy had taken an instant dislike to Gomber and now it was quadrupled.  She judged him to be the kind of person who stays within the boundaries of the law but whose ethics are questionable.

I mean, really.

Carson Drew is supposed to be one of the smartest guys in River Heights, right?  I find it interesting that he gets what basically amounts to a death threat, then a few pages later he is almost run over by an "out of control" car, yet makes no connection whatsoever between the two events.  He also continues his totally icky flirtation with Nancy:

In a flash, Nancy was out the back door and running to meet her father.  "Oh, Dad, I'm so glad to see you!" she exclaimed.

She gave him a tremendous hug and a resounding kiss.  He responded affectionately, but gave a little chuckle.  "What have I done to rate this extra bit of attention?" he teased.  With a wink he added, "I know.  Your date for tonight is off and you want me to substitute."

Dirk Jackson is the date that Carson Drew mentioned above.  He's a "red-haired, former high-school tennis champion" -- no word on what he does now.  He "doesn't like to be kept waiting" -- especially, Nancy says, "by any of my mysteries".  No wonder no one remembers him. 

Regardless of the fact that the narrator always stresses Hannah Gruen's position as "part of the family", she continues to do all of the work around the house.  She also gives Nancy advice -- probably whenever the writer felt that the "Nancy decided/exclaimed/deduced" bit was getting a bit repetitive.

Poor Helen Corning.  She's around to:

A) Tell Nancy about the case.
B) Ask all of the reader's questions, no matter how obvious and lame. 
C) Get dirty.  She's the one who opens the damper in the fireplace and gets all sooty, falls through the hole in the old stable, and gets covered in plaster when the ceiling collapses.  (Nancy, romantically, gets knocked out during the ceiling collapse episode.  No mention of dust mussing up her titian hair.)
D) Be the boy.  When Nancy and Helen dress up in old costumes to entertain the old ladies with an old-fashioned dance, Helen has to be the boy.

Remember the flapping-jaw syndrome I mentioned in Book One?  Well, apparently, Nancy has it, too.  At least everyone is consistently jabbering, I guess.  Speaking of, this book features the Wimpiest Henchmen Ever.  The police aren't able to get anything out of them, but Nancy bats her eyelashes and they spill almost immediately.

The Hidden Staircase continues the trend of old ladies being portrayed as doddering -- but sweet -- old bats who can't remember anything.

Book One had lots of descriptions of clothing.  This one has lots of food: 

"...the delicious dinner of spring lamb, rice and mushrooms, fresh peas and chocolate angel cake with vanilla ice cream..."
"...steak and French friend potatoes, fresh peas, and yummy floating island for dessert..."
"...cup of steaming chicken bouillon, a thin slice of well-toasted bread, and a saucer of plain gelatin."

Since when do police officers ENCOURAGE young women to continue their amateur sleuthing?  The cops in this book rival Abe Carver and the Salem Police Force for the Worst Cops Ever award.

And, I'm happy to say:  The unintentional humor continues!  This next bit is from a scene where Nancy is trying to track down clues about her missing father at a train station -- she just happens to run into a nurse who just happens to have taken the train at the same time her father rode into town and who just happens to have seen him get into a taxi and just happens to overhear Nancy questioning taxi drivers and just happens to recognize Carson Drew from Nancy's description and just happens to realize that one of the taxi drivers is lying (the strange spelling of kidnapped is from the book, not me):

When the man did not reply, Miss Skade said, "Now look, Harry.  This girl's afraid that her father has been kidnaped.  It's up to you to tell her all you know."

"Kidnaped!" the taximan shouted.  "Oh, goodnight!  Now I don't know what to do."

Nancy had a sudden thought.  "Has somebody been threatening you, Harry?" she asked.

The cab driver's eyes nearly popped from his head.  "Well," he said, "since you've guessed it, I'd better tell you everything I know."

With comedy like that, who needs realism?

Take that, Leslie Pinney.

Yeah, so... Her book challenge didn't go so well.

From nbc5.com:

A meeting at District 214 that began Thursday night lasted into the early-morning hours. Fire officials were called in to control the crowd of about 1,500 people who gathered for the debate at District 214 -- the largest school district in the state. Its schools include Hersey, Prospect and Buffalo Grove.

At 1 a.m., the school board voted 6-1 to keep the books in the district.

Super news, right?  Here's the absolute-best part of the article:

"I think most of us instinctively know that sex with an animal is 'eww,'" Penney said.

But Thursday night, most students and teachers disagreed.

The Sea of Monsters -- Rick Riordan

This is the sequel to The Lightning Thief, which I raved about last week.  I had bemoaned the fact that I, stupidly, didn't pick up The Sea of Monsters for way-cheap at the Scholastic Half-Price Sale recently, so you can probably imagine my joy at finding an ARC of it in a pile of books at home.  (Once I found it, I remembered picking it up at PLA -- I just hadn't read it yet due to my must-read-books-in-series-order issue.)

Anyway.

It was great.  While Riordan provides the background that makes it possible to pick up the series from here, I'd still suggest beginning at Book One.  (Mostly because it's so much fun.) 

Percy's school year has gone pretty uneventfully -- oddly enough, no monsters have tried to kill him and he hasn't been expelled from his new, "progressive" school:

The whole middle school had to read this book called Lord of the Flies, where all these kids get marooned on an island and go psycho.  So for our final exam, our teachers sent us into the break yard to spend an hour with no adult supervision to see what would happen.  What happened was a massive wedgie contest between the seventh and eighth graders, two pebble fights, and a full-on tackle game.  The school bully, Matt Sloan, led most of those activities.

Due to the almost disturbing lack of monster attacks, Percy has spent most of his school year defending his new friend Tyson from the aforementioned bully:

Tyson was the only homeless kid at Meriwether College Prep.  As near as my mom and I could figure, he'd been abandoned by his parents when he was very young, probably because he was so . . . different.  He was six-foot-three and built like the Abominable Snowman, but he cried a lot and was scared of just about everything, including his own reflection.  His face was kind of misshapen and brutal-looking.  I couldn't tell you what color his eyes were, because I could never make myself look higher than his crooked teeth.  His voice was deep, but he talked funny, like a much younger kid--I guess because he'd never gone to school before coming to Meriwether. 

Then, the night before his last day of school, he has a nightmare about his friend Grover the satyr.  Things start to go downhill from there.  When he and Annabeth (and yes, Tyson) arrive at Camp Half-Blood, they find it under attack.  Once that threat is dealt with, they are informed of an even greater threat -- Thalia's tree (which usually protects the camp from attack) has been poisoned and Chiron has been blamed, fired and replaced by Tantalus.

So begins the quest for the Golden Fleece.

Everything I said about The Lightning Thief still goes, and then some.  Rick Riordan continues to come up with brilliant chapter headings:

• 2.  I Play Dodgeball with Cannibals

• 6.  Demon Pigeons Attack

• 11.  Clarisse Blows Up Everything

• 14.  We Meet the Sheep of Doom

I continue to be reminded of the Harry Potter books, but again, only in basic structure.  Percy & Co. meet Chiron's centaur relatives, and they are the complete opposite of the JKR centaur -- frighteningly enough, they reminded me of some guys I hung out with during my college years.

The series continues to be smart, funny, exciting, and sure to please.  Book Three is probably (I hope, I hope!) coming out next year.

Poetry controversy in Kansas.

Although I guess it isn't much of a controversy, considering the fact that it was teacher who originally complained, and that no one seems to be defending the books.

The books are Things I Have to Tell You : Poems and Writing by Teenage Girls and You Hear Me? : Poems and Writing by Teenage Boys.

Every review I've read has:

A) been quite positive and
B) been very upfront about the gritty content.

And, DUH.  They're collections of poetry written by TEENAGERS!  What do they think the books are going to be like?  Emily Dickinson?

Horns & Wrinkles -- Joseph Helgerson

It's SO CUTE!  Adorable, even.  I don't mean cute and adorable in a precious way, because the book has bite.  The illustrations are beautiful and funny and shadowy and spooky and the story itself is so well-told and I loved the characters.  It's one that I'll re-read again and again.

I just loved it:

My cousin Duke's trouble on the river started the day he dangled me off the wagon wheel bridge.  It's an old stone bridge, abandoned now, except for bullies and the occasional river troll in need of a hideout.

Horns & Wrinkles is a must-read.  In fact, I think I must read it again and write a more detailed review.  (Oh, sometimes I crack myself up.  But, really.  It's a must read.)

Spy High: Mission One -- A. J. Butcher

Set in the year 2060, this is the story of the Bond Team, six recruits in their first year at Deveraux Academy -- otherwise known as Spy High.  Basically, Spy High: Mission One is a B-movie in book format. 

It has the stereotypical (almost to the point of being offensive) characters:

Ben T. Stanton, Jr.: The blond team leader is a privileged rich-boy jerk who doesn't have the team's welfare at heart due to his dreams of personal glory.

Lori Angel:  Yes, that's her real name.  Brilliant and beautiful (and yes, blonde), she wants to be appreciated for her brains.  Of course, that doesn't stop her from almost immediately hooking up with Ben and cooing over him every few pages.  It's heinous.

Jake Daley:  The dark-haired farm boy with the chip on his shoulder.  He's the one with the real leadership capabilities.

Jennifer Chen:  The one Asian on the team.  Yep, you guessed it.  She's a martial arts expert.

Eddie Nelligan:  The red-headed Irish comic relief.  Also an excellent SkyBiker.

Cally Cross:  The only black member of the team, she was delinquent and homeless before being offered a place at Spy High due to her amazing computer capabilities.

It has the requisite amazingly bad dialogue:

"And you know what's the strangest thing?  When I saw you fighting, I could see only you, not the holograms.  You were the only one who could see them.  To me, you weren't battling anyone -- only thin air, only yourself.  I know you feel bad, Ben, but you've got to let someone in, someone real.  Let me help you."

That piece of sparkling wit belongs to Lori Angel -- you remember, the brilliant one?

The book also has a couple of megalomaniac bad guys (one holographic, one real), gadgets, the aforementioned SkyBikes, the Tutor that Believes in His Team -- no matter how crappily they work together, and a descendant of V. Frankenstein who owes at least some credit to Dr. Moreau.  If someone ever decided to make a graphic novel version of MST3K, this would be the perfect book to adapt and mock. 

Most of the time, it just felt like a really, really bad James Bond rip-off.  Occasionally -- very, very occasionally -- I had glimpses of the super-fun spoof it could have been.  But those oh-so-brief moments weren't enough to make me want to even bother reading the teaser for the second book in the series.  But hey -- once again, what do I know?  There are 6 books in the first series (and it has spawned an entire second series), so someone is obviously reading them.

Students in Illinois take a stand.

There is now an online petition that was created in an effort to combat the literary witch hunt begun by Leslie Pinney.

(via ASIF!)

Hot Men of Children's Lit: Part 15 in a Series

Don't miss him.

If you need a refresher, he wrote Funny Little Monkey.  He also did a SDQ Interview here a while back.

Kiki Strike: Inside the Shadow City -- Kirsten Miller

Whoever wrote the teaser on the back of the book is brilliant:

Five delinquent Girl Scouts,
a million hungry rats,
one secret city beneath Manhattan,
and a butt-kicking girl superspy--welcome to the world of
KIKI
STRIKE

I was hooked from the first paragraph.  Our narrator is Ananka Fishbein:

Until the age of twelve, I led what most people would consider an unexceptional life.  My activities on an average day could be boiled down to a flavorless mush:  I went to school, I came home, I took a bath, and I went to bed.  Though I'm certain I didn't realize it at the time, I must have been terribly bored.

As she tells it, one morning, she looked out of her bedroom window at the park across the street.  Well, she looked at what used to be the park across the street.  Overnight, the park had disappeared into a (what looked to be) bottomless sinkhole.  As if that wasn't strange enough, she saw what looked like a "highly intelligent monkey or a troll of some sort" haul itself out of the hole, wave at her (with a cupped hand like British royalty) and scamper off into the mist:

Looking back, it's hard to imagine what my life might have become if I hadn't shoved my bare feet into a pair of furry pink snow boots, and run outside for a closer look.  I've found that such opportunities are few and far between.  If you miss them--or like most people simply fail to recognize them--there's no guarantee that another chance will ever come your way.

It doesn't take long for Ananka to team up with Kiki Strike and her band of delinquent Girl Scouts:  Oona, the forger and lock-picker; DeeDee, the chemistry/explosives expert; Luz, the attitudinal electronics queen; and Betty, the team's mistress of disguise.  (Are you thinking of Uma Thurman's monologue about "Fox Force Five" in Pulp Fiction?  Because that's what I thought of -- except of course, these girls are twelve.  Which just makes them that much cooler.)

Their adventure involves a secret network of tunnels and rooms under Manhattan, a bank robbery, very hungry (and murderous and huge) rats, loads of skeletons, a Chinese smuggling ring, a princess, kidnappings, explosions, a sack of gold doubloons, and a leader that they aren't sure they can entirely trust.

After my recent fun with Nancy Drew, this passage was especially welcome:

She handed Mrs. Young a business card.  I almost laughed when I saw that it read:  Kiki Strike, Detective.

"So you're a detective now?"  I teased Kiki once we were inside the creaking elevator.  "Like Nancy Drew?"

"Nancy Drew was just an amateur," Kiki sniffed, as if insulted by the comparison.  "I'm the real thing."

It's super fun.  The story is peppered with passage from Ananka's secret diaries -- there are instructions for everything from dealing with snakebites and frostbite to recognizing when someone is lying and how to actually lie effectively to planning an escape route to getting away from a kidnapper.  With good reason, the publisher covers their butt on the verso page with a (strangely hilarious) disclaimer:

The advice given in this book, including first aid information, is meant as a literary device and an amusing sidebar.  The author and publisher are not responsible for any accidents or injuries that may occur by following it.  Refer instead to the American Red Cross.

The Dracorex hogwartsia.

More info here and here.  (Thanks to Chrissy and Jeremy for the links.)

The Lightning Thief -- Rick Riordan

Yeah, so The Lightning Thief was just kind of... AWESOME:

In a way, it's nice to know there are Greek gods out there, because you have someone to blame when things go wrong.  For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force really is trying to mess up your day.

Super fun.  Potter-fans will really like it.  I know, I know.  Someone says that about every single fantasy novel that's been published (or re-published) since HP, but dammit, it's true. 

The similarities are mostly just broad plot points -- odd things happen to a boy throughout his childhood, he ends up at a summer camp for special kids where his immediate support group is comprised of another boy and a girl. 

The tone is different, though.  It's much more snarky and breezy than the Potter books, and the details are very different: It turns out that Camp Half-Blood is a summer camp for kids who are directly descended from the Greek gods.  (Directly as in: The Children of.)  I especially loved this fact: Due to his bloodline, Percy's brain is hardwired for Ancient Greek and battle -- which translates to dyslexia and ADHD in a regular classroom.

As there's a trident on the front cover and Percy shows his power over water pretty early on, it isn't particularly difficult to figure out Percy's dad's identity.  I also had the turncoat identified, but not the Big Bad.

The book's wonderful chapter headings ("I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher", "Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants", "I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom", "I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus" and (my favorite) "I Battle My Jerk Relative"), brilliant character descriptions:

Grover was an easy target.  He was scrawny.  He cried when he got frustrated.  He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin.  On top of all that, he was crippled.  He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.  He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you.  You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

and fresh and original action descriptions:

Grover went flying sideways down the hill like a possessed lawn mower, heading toward the van.

all made me wish I'd gone ahead and bought the sequel for super cheap when I had the chance.

Another one.

I.  Can't.  Take.  It.  People just aren't satisfied with challenging one book at a time anymore.

The books this time are:

Are You in the House Alone?, by Richard Peck

Rainbow Boys, by Alex Sanchez

Rats Saw God, by Rob Thomas

Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love, by Maryrose Wood

The Bean Trees, by Barbara Kingsolver

The Bean Trees, Teacher's Edition

The Clan of the Cave Bear, by Jean Auel

The King Must Die, by Mary Renault

The Power of One (abridged), by Bryce Courtenay

Boy's Life, Robert McCammon

A school board member was approached by "people from a local radio station" who were concerned about the district's book orders.  She took it upon herself to research the books online.  The sites she used?  "Two Web sites devoted to challenging the propriety of books in school libraries".  (My guess is that they were ClassKC and PABBIS, because god forbid that she would use objective sources for her research.)

[Later:]  Maryrose Wood, author of SK&HDFIL, is covering the challenge at her blog.

The Secret of the Old Clock: Nancy Drew Mystery Stories, #1 -- Carolyn Keene

I've never been a huge Nancy Drew fan, but I still couldn't pass up my recent once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of lugging home twenty of them in one fell swoop.  (Come on!  Ten dollars!  How could I not?)

So, what with them lying all over our apartment and all, I decided it was time to give old Nancy another go:

• It was pretty funny.  Unintentionally funny, granted.  But still funny:

"Do you know what became of the notebook, Mrs. Rowen?

"Oh dearie me!  There goes my memory again.  No, I don't."

• No Ned Nickerson or Bess and George in Book One.  Nancy does have a "slim, attractive friend" named Helen Corning, but she's just a plot device to get Nancy up to the Moon Lake area.


• Speaking of plot devices:  Nancy's "dark blue convertible" (she got it for her birthday) should win an award.  Not only did a perfectly timed malfunction in the motorized convertible top (during an extremely heavy downpour) allow her to coincidentally meet two of the key players in the mystery, but a flat tire later in the story allows us readers to experience the joys of changing a tire -- which, of course, Nancy knows how to do.  (Okay, the flat tire wasn't a plot device at all.  There was no reason for it -- which is odd, as most events in the book were there for a specific reason -- unless of course, the Stratemeyer Syndicate wanted girls to know that it was cool to change tires, so maybe that bit was about Nancy's character development.  Or something.  Although, it is specifically mentioned that she doesn't enjoy changing tires.  That would probably be too butch.)


• She's not just good at changing tires.  Nancy is also generous -- she buys groceries for an old lady.  And she's an Emma-style meddler -- she finds out that a girl wants to sing and tricks her into an audience with a premier operatic voice instructor who just happens to live in River Heights.  She may be rich, but she's no snob -- she loooooves to help poor people.  She has an excellent appetite, can cook, is well-versed in first aid, loves hiking, can repair an outboard motor, is athletic and knows how to use a lever, is very responsible, and maybe most importantly, has fantastic women's intuition.


• All fabulous qualities, but the most useful one seems to be this:  Every single person she meets seems to be so bowled over by her charm that they immediately start blathering about all of their troubles -- money, romance, hopes, dreams, etc.  Some of these people know her for less than five minutes before they start spilling their guts.  It's kind of amazing. 


• Again with the she may be rich bit -- she may be rich, but she's still frugal!  After a run in with the bitchy Topham sisters in a department store results in a torn dress, Nancy buys the item at a drastically reduced price.  (Nancy explains the practice to the clerk (who for some reason is unaware of the possibility), thus saving the clerk a cut in pay and giving Nancy a discount.)


• Like changing tires, Nancy doesn't enjoy eavesdropping or breaking the law -- but she will if she has to!  (Speaking of exclamation points, HOLY COW, the St. Syn. loved 'em:  "There were tire marks which could belong to Sid's van!  They led to the barn!")


• If Nancy and Molly Moon came up against each other in a battle of hypnotism, I don't know who'd win.  In a 180-page book, Nancy's eyes "sparkled" twice, "twinkled" once, "danced" twice, and were described as "bright" once.  She's not the only one:  Fred Mathews has sparkly eyes, too, but his eyes "sparkled boyishly".


• Lastly, you wouldn't think that Nancy has much in common with Gossip Girl and their ilk, but her clothing is described every single time she changes her outfit -- no brand names, mind you, but still described:  "a simple green linen sports dress with a matching sweater", "dressed in a tan cotton suit", "wearing a yellow sunback dress and jacket"...  Rather than including a teaser chapter from the next book (as is pretty common practice now), the St. Synd. managed to work the teaser right into the end of the story:

As Nancy stood looking wistfully at the old clock she little dreamed that in the near future she would be involved in The Hidden Staircase mystery, a far more baffling case than the one she had just solved.  But somehow, as Nancy gazed at the timepiece, she sensed that exciting days were soon to come.

Yet another challenge, this time with an exciting twist!

From The Sacramento Bee:

Along with a group of like-minded parents, Grimsman wants the San Juan Unified School District to create a parent review panel that would rate all assigned books for adult content and language. The results would be posted online for busy parents to examine, she said.

...

Grimsman said she hasn't read "Of Mice and Men," the book her son brought home, or the other books she's cited. But she's paged through them and done Internet research, she said. "The F word is the F word," she said.

The parent-teacher panel Grimsman is proposing would rate the frequency and intensity of violence, sexuality, profanity, and "family life content" -- including mentions of abortion, suicide, drugs and birth control -- in assigned books.

The panel also would ask teachers to explain why they are using the books and create a list of more acceptable alternatives, Grimsman said. The information would be posted online so parents could decide when to opt their children out.

Yep.  There's no difference between Hustler's Letters page and John Steinbeck.  None at all.  After all, they both use the F-bomb.

Three words, lady.  Homeschool.  Homeschool.  Homeschool.

[Later:]  Okay.  That wasn't enough for me.  First of all, go crazy.  Create a website that rates the books that are assigned in your school district.  Rate the books according to whatever notions of morality strike your fancy -- heck, you don't even have to read the books!  Do whatever you want.  Write whatever you want.  Jump on the PABBIS bandwagon and list every single snippet of profanity out of context.  Trust me, it'll make you look super-duper-ultra intelligent.  I promise.

But there is absolutely no reason at all that the school system has to be involved in your own personal crusade.

SDQ Interview with Paul Acampora.

Another YA author with fine, fine musical taste, Paul Acampora is the author of Defining Dulcie.  Read this interview, then read his fine, fine book.

Books Currently Reading:

Freaks: Alive on the Inside by Annette Curtis Klause
The other end of the leash: why we do what we do around dogs by Patricia B McConnell

CDs Currently in Rotation:

Lucinda Williams: Essence
Kinks: Greatest Hits
Richard & Linda Thompson: Shoot out the Lights
Victoria Williams: Loose
Billy Bragg & Wilco: Mermaid Avenue

Last Movie Viewed:

The Black Stallion Returns
I loved the Black Stallion books when I was a kid. I think I read every book Walter Farley ever wrote. My eleven year-old son discovered the books and the movies (which I didn’t even know about) recently. I’m having a good time walking down this path again.

Literary Crush (real or fictional):

(definitely fictional) Kate DiCamillo. 
I find her work as frightening as it is beautiful. She gives her whole heart to every word. It’s like watching a great actress completely throw herself into the role of Lady Macbeth. I always wonder if she can be sane again when the show is over.

Pet Peeve:

Rudeness.

Current Obsessions:

Carnivals, carousels and amusement parks:
I grew up a couple miles away from Lake Compounce, the oldest amusement park in America. It was a run down dirty old park back then but always such a fascinating and fun and frightening place. I’m told it’s a much cleaner, more family friendly destination these days. That’s probably for the better. Unless you want to grow up to tell stories about it.

Dogs:
We recently adopted a two year old Golden Retriever.  He is doing a really nice job of training us.

This photoblog:
A Walk through Durham Township, Pennsylvania.
The photos here so often completely capture a sense of place. Plus they really have a sort of voice. I love writing that really gets those two things - voice and a sense of place – just right. Seeing it happen in a completely different medium is remarkable.

Guilty Pleasure:

A kids tv show called "Jakers: The Adventures of Piggly Winks" which I watch with my kids and then we walk around speaking with bad Irish brogues for several hours. Also, it has Mel Brooks doing the voice of a sheep. It cracks me up.

In a separate guilty pleasure: I dog ear books. I write in them too.

Irrational Fear:

Those rabbits with red eyes.

Favorite word:

Naugahyde.
Again from my growing up years when my parents would take us to the Naugatuck Mall for pizza and an ice cream cone on a Friday night. For some reason, I thought they said Naugahyde not Naugatuck. I could never figure out why they named the place after a kind of plastic leather. Many Friday nights, I strolled the Naugahyde Mall -- hand in hand with my sister and parents -- looking for the Naugahyde Store. Never found it. Even when I have to sit on it today, I still associate the word with good things though.

Another Book Challenge.

This Illinois school board member wants to pull a seven books from the curriculum in her local school district.  Some of the offensive books may sound familiar:

The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien
Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut
The Awakening, Kate Chopin
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
Beloved, Toni Morrison
Freakonomics, Steven Leavitt
The Botany of Desire: A Plant's-Eye View of the World, Michael Pollan

Impressively, she hasn't read any of the books.  In fact, she's quoted as saying  "I don't know if I would want to." 

Blubber -- Judy Blume

I'd forgotten that Blubber is narrated by a bully:

We made Linda say, I am Blubber, the smelly whale of class 206.  We made her say it before she could use the toilet in the Girls' Room, before she could get a drink at the fountain, before she ate her lunch and before she got on the bus to go home.  It was easy to get her to do it.  I think she would have done anything we said.  There are some people who just make you want to see how far you can go.

Man, Judy Blume totally Gets It.  She knows how kids work.  Throughout the book, Jill hears adults say things like "just laugh it off" and "just ignore them".

(I'm swearing right now that I will never, ever give that advice to my children.  Also on the list:

Someday, you'll laugh about this.

That's the worst one.  But that's irrelevant because it isn't in the book.  Onward with Blubber.)

What some grown-ups don't realize is that every single kid gets that same advice, even the bullies:

After I read the note I said, "Ha ha..." remembering that my mother told me a person should always be able to laugh at herself.  I tried to laugh as hard as the rest of the kids to show what a good sport I could be.

"Goo goo..." Robby Winters said.  "See Baby Brenner laugh!" 

...

That afternoon, when I got on the bus, Wendy stuck out her foot and tripped me.  I fell flat on my face and my books flew all over the place.  I tried to laugh again but this time the laugh just wouldn't come.

Yeah.  Laughing it off doesn't work.  Especially if you aren't able to laugh it off convincingly.  Kids are young, not stupid. 

It also doesn't help if your classroom teacher is totally oblivious to the social situation.  (Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't help if the classroom teacher IS aware of the bullying -- note to all teachers and future teachers:  Never try to force bullies to play nicely with their tormentees.  It will not go well.)

Really, I don't have a whole lot so say about this one, other than that Judy Blume is a genius.  As someone who had a particularly miserable fifth-grade experience, I feel that I'm especially qualified to say:  Blubber came out in 1974 and it still rings true today.  There were parts of the story that made me shudder.  (If that doesn't do it for you, the entire book is worth reading for the character of Ms. Rothbelle, the music teacher.  She's only around for a few pages, but she's perfect.)

It's especially impressive that Jill comes off as a pretty sympathetic -- even more so than Linda, who is not a very attractive character, even with the underdog advantage.  Part of it, I think, is that Linda isn't a fighter.  She lets people trample over her (kind of like Piggy in Lord of the Flies, actually), and the kids hate her for it.  When Jill ends up in Linda's position, she A) fights back, and B) turns the bullies against each other, which kind of defuses the gang mentality.  But there isn't really a happy ending:  she doesn't make up with Wendy & Co., and she doesn't ever become friends with Linda.  Things just...  level out. 

Blubber gets challenged on a semi-regular basis because the bullies never get punished.  (It probably also gets challenged due to the two or three instances of swearing, but whatever.)  Really.  How many bullies do you remember getting punished?  And of those that were, how many of the the bullied kids got pounded for it later?  God forbid that kids actually read something realistic.  Sheesh.

Rainbow Fish Oddaptation.

I hate The Rainbow Fish.  It's another one of those horrible, horrible books with a horrible, horrible message that is horribly, horribly written and illustrated yet is horribly, horribly popular.

Among other things, a defense of Gossip Girl.

From Salon:

"Gossip Girl" and its sisters seem to be filling out the time-honored "brain candy" category. Less pure but more readable than the Sweet Valley High novels of my youth, they're far cleaner than the vampirism of Anne Rice or the incest of V.C. Andrews. If those books didn't warp the kids who read them, I don't think we have to worry about the impact that "Gossip Girl" paperbacks are going to have on a generation that, it's worth remembering, spent their youth in midnight lines, waiting to get their paws on 800-page tomes about wizardry. Anyone who presumes that "Gossip Girl" is opening their wide eyes to the mercenary capitalism of high school has clearly never considered the differences between Cleansweep and Nimbus2000 broomsticks.

Good Friday reading.  ("Tiara Girls"?  Sometimes I am so glad we don't have cable.)

Poetry Friday.

Okay, okay.  I'm in. 

To honor (dubiously, of course) the eight gazillion days of rain we've just had:

Rain

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

Shel Silverstein

Book Banning News -- the Around the World Edition!

Peg Kehret's Abduction! has survived a challenge in Minnesota. 

From The Pioneer Press:

Harris didn't allow her daughter, 10-year-old Coa Murrell, to finish reading "Abduction!" after she had checked it out from the Echo Park Elementary library in Burnsville. Harris said the book was too violent and made her daughter fearful.

"This is something you would see on Lifetime TV or a movie rated PG-13," said Harris, who read the 215-page book. "As a parent, I want to be able to control what my children have access to."

That control you want?  Yeah.  You already exercised it by taking the book away from your daughter.

The Chocolate War survived a challenge in Idaho just in time to be challenged in Connecticut. 

This one is an example of censors that just won't quit:  Their child was given The Outsiders as alternate reading, they still wanted Cormier's book pulled.  They made a two-page list of every offensive passage and word in the novel.  Even with that very long (and very out of context) form of evidence, they were told by the teacher, principal, superintendent's office and the school board that the book would not be pulled.

So they went to the other parents.

From The West Hartford News:

Rick Stockwell went through the KP directory and for two nights by hand, addressed nearly 375 envelopes to all eighth-grade parents; his wife made copies of the four-page letter packet at Staples. A few other parents, Donna Stockwell's mom, and the Stockwells' daughter, helped stuff the envelopes. Stockwell estimates the entire mailing cost nearly $400. They had to rush it, because the novel they thought would go to students in May, was handed out in April.

Wow.  Just imagine what they could accomplish if they tried to do something constructive, like oh, I don't know... promoting diversity and tolerance?

After some confusion, 150 books on gender issues were returned to library shelves in Fukui, Japan.  The challenge itself sounds pretty standard -- someone wasn't into gender equality and complained about the books.  What I found really interesting was this bit about a town assemblywoman chastising the library (rightly) for pulling the books:

She also said that not putting out books paid for with tax money was tantamount to a misuse of public funds.

Get it?  It's the same argument that book banners always use -- that they don't want their tax money paying for pornography, etc.  But this time, the good guys used it.  Be sure to file that one away for the next time someone says, "Can't you just keep it in the back room?".

Am I crazy?

Or does this movie actually sound like the best thing ever?

Defining Dulcie -- Paul Acampora

Throughout Defining Dulcie, I was reminded of Joan Bauer and oddly enough, Because of Winn-Dixie.  Imagine my delight at finding JB and KD at the top of the acknowledgments page.  (YES!  I am SO SMART!  I love those moments.)

Anyway.  I loved it.  Like me expand:  I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. 

Like D.J. Schwenk, Dulcie is the antithesis of the rich Gossip Girl type.  She is no brand-name slinging privileged princess.  She's also not a cringing orphan or a single teen mom or a downtrodden social outcast.

She's just Dulcie.  She knows who she is, and she certainly knows that she doesn't want to be in California:

America is big.  REALLY big.  It reaches farther, wider, and taller than they ever tell you in school or that you'd ever guess from just looking at it on a map.  And if I didn't notice the huge stretch of miles between Connecticut and California on the long drive westward, I sure noticed it a few weeks later when I stole Dad's truck and drove back to Newbury all by myself.

I didn't just love Dulcie.  I loved her whole family: 

Dulcie's dad (he dies before the story begins but that won't stop you from loving him) thought George was the best Beatle,

her grandfather painted his house lime green and sunflower yellow when the neighbors complained about dark purple -- and he's threatened bright orange if they complain again,

Roxanne turns a very serious conversation between Dulcie and her grandfather into a game show moment,

and Dulcie's mom is just fantastic. 

(No, Roxanne isn't technically related.  But I'm counting her anyway.)

I know that I've been comparing authors to Joan Bauer left and right lately, but what can I do?  Dulcie has that same strong work ethic that Bauer heroines traditionally have, and she has that same strong interest in what she does, too.  The book is also an excellent comfort read.

As for the Winn-Dixie comparison:  Not only does it deal with loss, but Defining Dulcie is chock-full of quirky, lovable characters -- emphasis on lovable.  I don't mean some sort of Care Bears cheesy cutesy lovable.  I mean that it seems like Paul Acampora poured his heart into his story, and it comes pouring back out again when you read it. 

It made me happy -- happyhappyhappy -- but tearfully, achy happy, the way that Winn-Dixie did.  And there's no dog, which, in books, is always a plus for me. 

Check it out.

Mark Hostler interview at Rocketboom.  (The Wednesday, May 17th edition.)

Norwood students deserve a huge round of applause.

Yar.  They showed 'em.  Again.

From The Montrose Press:

NORWOOD — People and tension filled the Norwood High School library Tuesday evening to combat a pending decision by the Norwood School District R-2J Board of Education not to renew the contracts of two popular teachers.

After a petition and testimony from 16 students, parents and other community members were presented, the board went into an executive session. At midnight, they voted unanimously to renew the contracts of Lisa Doyle and Beth Costa.

“It was really up in the air,” Doyle said. “I’m happily surprised.”

Doyle’s assignment of “Bless me, Ultima,” by Rudolfo Anaya, to her English class sparked a controversy last year between some faculty and the administration. Norwood School District Superintendent Bob Conder had the book pulled from Doyle’s class after a parent complained. Conder is on leave and the district is interviewing candidates for a new superintendent.

Did you catch that bit at the end about the superintendent leaving?

So... Who's going to BEA?

Not me, you rats.

Get me something good, 'kay?

Wheeeeeeeee!

Our circulation system is down.

It's a laugh-a-second around here at the moment.

At least it's stopped raining.  For now.

Blue Bloods -- Melissa de la Cruz

While I loved the textured bite marks on the cover of Blue Bloods, that's about all the book has going for it.

You know how there are some movies -- say, The Crap-ft, for instance -- that regardless of their supreme suckdom, can still be watchable?  Not only watchable, but that can carry along some sort of horrible compulsion to watch?  I know that every single time I've run across that movie re-running yet again, I end up watching the whole thing.  I know I'm not the only one.  I can't be.

Anyway.  I tried to stop reading this stupid book.  Every couple of chapters, I'd turn to Josh and say, "Okay.  I'm done.  This is so lame.  I'm getting another book."  Then I'd read a bit more and something vaguely interesting would happen and I'd end up reading another couple of chapters before repeating myself yet again.  Don't tell him I said this, but I have a very patient husband.

I would have hated the book less if I'd been able to put it down the first time I got irritated.

Granted, I should have known.  I should have known that I would not enjoy a vampire novel written by the author of The Au Pairs.  I mean, really.  So I have no one but myself to blame.  I'm going to take it out on the book anyway.  Spoilers ahead.

• By the end of the first page, I knew that the description was a tad much for my taste -- personally, I tend to enjoy spare more than flowery.  But I chalked that up to the genre -- I figured she was going for urban-gothic-horror, and as we all know, whenever you chuck gothic into the mix, adjectives are bound to start getting tossed around willy-nilly.  Also, I occasionally do try to be objective.  Occasionally.  (In case you haven't noticed, I gave up this time.) 

• Advertisers will be happy to know that the change of genre hasn't decreased the number of brand name appearances -- even though the main character shops at thrift stores, the product placement is rampant.

• Page 10, and I gave up trying to like the main character and her best friend:  "They finished each other's sentences and liked to read aloud from random pages of Infinite Jest when they were bored."  Again with the lack of objectivity -- I haven't even read Infinite Jest, but I've never failed to be irritated by its fans.  So Schuyler and Oliver immediately arrive (in my head) in The Land of Obnoxious and Privileged Pretentious Teenagers.  Sigh.  The only person I'm hurting is myself.  I really should have stopped reading.

• The other two main characters?  Jack and Mimi Force.  Twins.  His name is JACK FORCE.  What is he, a superhero?  A future American Gladiator?  Why not name him John Black and get it over with?  Yes, yes, Jack is his nickname, but still.  I shuddered every single time I read his name.

• Want to know where vampires come from?  They're fallen angels.  GAG.  The whole riff on that just made me think of that episode of Buffy with the vampire worshippers.  The scene where Jack Force (Can't you just hear some sort of sound effect after you read his name?) finds out that his father is in fact the archangel Michael.  That was just... yeah.

Add to that:  I didn't care about the characters, the descriptions felt forced and overdone (even accounting for my taste), the dialogue was flat and occasionally bone-stupid, and the fact that the whole book is obviously the first in a planned series of many...  That last bit was the last straw for me.  I'm not even going to try and find something nice to say about a book that was written purely to be a marketable product.

Of course, the reader reviews at Amazon completely disagree with me, so maybe I'm just a crab.

Snore.

I'm starting to think that maybe we should stick book banners on an island for a year or two without any books.  Maybe then they'd appreciate libraries.

Drool.

Check out the Kirkus 2006 Big Book Preview.

I want to read:

One Good Turn, Kate Atkinson (but I still have to read Case Histories)

Ladies of Grace Adieu, Susanna Clarke

Best American Comics 2006, Harvey Pekar, ed.

Under the Baseball Moon, John H. Ritter

Voices, Ursula K. Le Guin (But first Gifts, which has been sitting in my TBR pile for months -- why am I so dumb?)

New Moon, Stephanie Meyer (I can't wait.  In the meantime, at least I have her ongoing re-write of Twilight from Edward's perspective.)

Rules of Survival, Nancy Werlin

Welcome to Wahoo -- Dennis and Elise Carr

This is a pretty standard riches-to-rags/fish-out-of-water story.  Our heroine is 17-year-old Victoria Julianne Van Wyck:

My friends call me Jewels because of my family's money; the European press calls me "Brat" or "La Terreur Americain"--and that's on good days.  My mother calls me Victoria: "You were named after a queen, the least you can do is act like a lady" (yeah right), and my father calls me "you," as in: "What sort of trouble have you got yourself into this time?"

This is a rather narrow-minded overreaction to what I would describe as my natural thirst for adventure.

By page fifteen, Victoria's parents have informed her that the Cosa Nostra is bent on assassinating the entire family due to some shady business dealings on her father's part.  She is sent to Wahoo, Nebraska to hide out with her crabby bodyguard, Rhodes Scholar Adam York.

Not the Best Book Ever, but a good pick for fans of the Rich Girl books I've been sampling lately -- she's rich (though doesn't have access to her money), loves clothes (though rarely mentions brands by name), and is a spoiled brat (though she's funny, which always makes up for a lot of pillish behavior). 

She's much smarter than any of the girls in the series books -- and even better, she isn't afraid to show it.  She chucks out names of philosophers and authors, is so fluent in French that she puts her teacher to shame, and studies hard.  She even (GASP!) reads for entertainment!  All that and she has a very original voice -- she manages to use "Kafkaesque" and "barf" in the same paragraph.

Parents who are concerned about the sexual content in Gossip Girl, etc., will be happy to know that Victoria sees things a bit differently:

A word here about European boys.  The rich ones, no matter what nationality, have one thing in common--all they want is to do you.  They might not know you, they might not even like you; the point is, you are a contest for them, nothing more.  American girls are especially prized.  Why?  Because they hate the U.S. in Europe now, and what better way to show off their machismo than with your sexual humiliation.

My advice?  Never, ever become a trophy.  The moment you give in, the party's over.  You're no longer Cinderella, you're the pumpkin.

My parents didn't teach me that, although they'd be happy to know I'm still a virgin.

Then again, parents might not appreciate her bluntness about sex.  There's some amount of drinking, though by the end of the book, she's sworn it off.  It's an odd book, age-wise.  Worldly but still innocent. 

That's one way of going about it.

From The Guardian:

A first-time author has bypassed the traditional route of getting an agent, and is publishing a collaborative thriller on eBay. The novel is being written one page at a time, one writer to a page. As each installment is finished, the chance to create the next is offered for auction on eBay. So far, 17 pages have been completed, with 234 to go, and while the quality of the writing might charitably be described as variable, there is no shortage of plot.

Oh my god.  Just... Try to make it through the first page to the first sentence on the second, I promise it's worth it.

Nebula Awards announced.

Oops.  They were announced over a week ago.  I don't know how I missed that.

The fabulous Kelly Link won in both the Novella and Novelette category -- now will you please, please read her book?  I'm obviously not the only one who loved it!

Joss Whedon won for best screenplay, hooray!

Holly Black won the very first Andre Norton Award for Valiant.  (Which, no, I still haven't read, but I really liked Tithe despite my own bizarro issues.)

Startled By His Furry Shorts -- Louise Rennison

Georgia Nicolson fans will be happy to know that she is just as horrifically and hilariously self-absorbed as ever.  This is from the bit where Jas (her best friend) is pouring her heart out about an unfortunate "lip spasm":

She said, "I expect it was snogging withdrawal.  I hadn't puckered up for ages, so...you know, being out of practice...but it won't happen again."

"Good."

"Because I have an exercise regime now, shall I show you?"

"No."

"OK.  It goes pucker, relax, pucker, relax, pucker relax, do you see?"

I didn't say anything, just lay there staring at her with big starey eyes like the rest of the owls as she pouted her lips and then relaxed them.  She looked like a mixture of Mick Jagger and an idiot.  Not necessarily in that order.

She was in full ramble mode now.

"And then for the piece de resistance, it's darty tongue, darty tongue."

God, it was horrible sitting there whilst her little tongue went in and out like a mad vole.

Fortunately I was able to shove a midget gem in her gob so that I could tell her the sad tale of my Italian Stallion.

Fans of the series will be very happy -- there are lots of run-ins with Wet Lindsay and Astonishingly Dim Monica, Dave the Laugh figures in significantly, and the ace gang reinvents the Bison Dance over and over again.  Poor Georgia is in the "cakeshop of aggers", what with problems with the Luuuuuuurve God, rehearsals of MacUsless, and daily happenings in the household of the "Swiss Family Mad".  Too bad for Georgia, yes, but hooray for her fans -- the more agony she suffers, the funnier she is...

However.  I must weigh in on the subject of the new covers:

THEY STINK.

I hate them I hate them I hate them.

Also, I hate them.

Firegirl -- Tony Abbott

Um, yeah.  So Tony Abbott can totally, totally join the Ann M. Martin Club. 

(For the uninformed, which is probably most people since I just made the club up, the criteria for induction in the Ann M. Martin Club is as follows:

1) Write a series that is hugely popular despite largely unimpressive critical reviews.
2) Write a fabulous, original, special stand-alone novel.
3) Sit back and giggle as the critics have to eat their words.)

Firegirl is a short book -- if it was an adult novel, I'd call it a novella -- weighing in at under 150 pages.  It's the story of a few weeks in the life of quiet and sweaty Tom Bender, seventh-grade boy, comic book reader, Cobra-lover and dreamer:

Or I would be at recess, flapping cool air into my blazer and talking with the guys about the science quiz, when I'd suddenly look up -- I was the only one who knew to do this at just that moment -- to see Courtney plummeting through the air.  The jet her uncle was piloting was on fire and crashing.

"She bailed out!" I would say.  "Stupid chute didn't open!"

Tossing my blazer aside, I would somehow leap up from the roof of the gym (I was on top of the gym now) and jump sort of sideways across the school yard and catch her just as she fell.  We would tumble slowly and softly to the ground together, on the bright green grass of a golf course that was across the street, and her hair would fly across our faces as we rolled and rolled down a little green hill.  Then it would get a little hazy, but suddenly everyone was crowding around us -- Joey and Rich and Darlene and Mrs. Tracy and Samantha Embriano.

And there would come the moment in front of everyone when Courtney would thank me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And she would always be with me after that.

It could happen.

When Jessica Feeney joins Tom's class at St. Catherine's, things don't change much.  Not outwardly, in a way that is obviously apparent.  But add new student to any classroom, and one who is a burn survivor to boot, and things are going to change:

My neck felt thick and stiff.  There was a lump in my throat and a high ringing in my ears.  I remember wondering how someone looking like that could even be alive.  Was she in pain right now?  It seemed like she must be.  As if being in that skin would make you want to scream and scream and scream until you died.

It's clear that Tony Abbott loves these characters -- there's so much affection in the details.  Even when characters acted hateful -- Jeff, mostly, but even Jessica occasionally -- I still felt a strong sense of empathy for them.  I still cared about them.  I cared about them almost immediately, without reservations. 

The reason for that lies in Tom's narration -- he is very thoughtful and sensitive, though he doesn't seem to realize it.  His voice is quite mature -- I was never quite sure how far back this memory, the story of Jessica Feeney, was coming from.  Slap a Richard Dreyfuss end cap (a la Stand By Me) on it, and it wouldn't be out of place in a collection of short stories for adults.

It's a beautiful, sad, achy little story.  There's a subtlety in it that probably won't make it popular with some readers.  In the right hands, though, it'll be cherished.

Not book-related, but very, very important.

Read it and rejoice.

Still not convinced that obits make great reading?

From The Daily Telegraph's obituary of Jacqueline Roumeguere-Eberhardt:

Jacqueline Roumeguere-Eberhardt, the French anthropologist who has died aged 78, left her husband, a diplomat, and ran off with an illiterate Masai warrior; with her three children she lived with his tribe in the Masai Mara National Game Park in Kenya.

Despite their cultural differences - and the presence of eight other wives - Jacqueline Roumeguere-Eberhardt claimed that she and her husband got along famously: "Every time I'm with him I learn something new about human nature and problem solving," she told an interviewer.

All the same, standards had to be maintained, and, while living the life of a tribeswoman, she never went out without applying her red Chanel lipstick and nail polish.

...

At the time of her death on March 29 she had just finished translating another memoir into English. Originally entitled The Six Wives of My Husband, it had to be amended to The Nine Wives of My Husband after he took on three more women while she was polishing up the text.

See?  See?  Now go and read The Dead Beat.

Fine. We'll make our own damn list.

There's a new list being created by Book of the Day.  Check out her post about it here.

It's hard to pick.  As I said over at Fuse#8, for a YA title, I'd go with David Klass' You Don't Know Me or M. T. Anderson's Feed.

Peeps -- Scott Westerfeld

Due to our recent chat about So Yesterday, I had to bump Peeps up a few spots in my TBR pile.  Now I'm dying to read the upcoming sequel/companion.

Peeps is an EXCELLENT action/adventure/sci-fi/romance/vampire novel.  EXCELLENT.  It's original and smart and funny and creepy with an occasionally break-neck pace -- I kept realizing I was skimming, desperate to know what would happen next (I don't deal well with suspense), and I had to force myself to back up and slow down. 

Nineteen-year-old Cal is a member of the Night Watch.  For the last year, he has been tracking down and capturing all of the women that he unknowingly infected with a parasite.  Parasite positives (or peeps) have an aversion to sunlight.  They are super-strong and have excellent reflexes.  They bond with rats.  They crave blood.

"But wait!" you say.  "How could Cal infect those women AND be a member of Night Watch?  Shouldn't he be all bloodthirsty and violent?" 

Simmer down, young pups.  It turns out that Cal is only a carrier -- he has the parasite, yes, but he still has self-control.  He has to fight off incredibly strong urges -- the parasite is sexually transmitted, and it WANTS to be spread -- but for the most part, he has all of the perks of vampirism without the lame running-from-people-with-torches-and-pitchforks part.  Except, of course, that he can't kiss anyone for the rest of his (very long) life.  Another major difference from traditional vampire stories -- peeps aren't dead:

Optimum virulence is why most deaths from parasites are long and lingering--in the case of a carrier like me, the time it takes to die happens to be longer than a normal human life span.  That's the way the older peep hunters talk about it: not so much immortality as a centuries-long downward spiral.  Maybe that's why they use the word undead.

The book has a great format.  All of the odd-numbered chapters are story related, and all of the even-numbered ones give the run-down on a different parasite.  (Happily, there is a bibliography.  I'll be tracking down Parasite Rex very soon.)

Two book challenges swatted down, possible repercussions from a third.

I doubt that anyone will be surprised to hear that Harry Potter is safe in Gwinnett County.  The challenger (who hadn't read the books), said:

"I knew what they were going to do, but it's good we live in a country where you can stand up for what you believe in," said Mallory, a former missionary. "God is alive and real and he says it (witchcraft) is an abomination. How can we say it is good reading material?"

Interesting that she appreciates free speech when it's her that's doing the speaking.  Now if she could only wrap her mind around the other-people-speaking part...

The Chocolate War will stay in the freshman curriculum in Salmon, Idaho, despite claims by a Lutheran minister that the book "violates civil rights by denying religious freedom". 

I honestly have no idea what he meant by that.  Maybe that it portrays some Christians unfavorably?  If we pulled every single book in that category, our libraries would be looking pretty meager.  The Chocolate War is a tough book -- I'm not disputing that.  I was wrecked the first time I read it.  I'm especially impressed that the school board was able to get over their personal feelings about the book to protect it:

Board member Pat Hurt said, "Emotionally, it's tough to read the hard and cruel things that happen in the book. I like books and movies that make you feel good, and this doesn't make you feel good."

But she also made the motion to accept a committee's recommendation that the book be allowed to return to the classroom.

Lastly, it appears that the Bless Me, Ultima debate isn't quite over in Colorado.  The teacher who assigned the book last year has been told that her contract is not being renewed.  While the administration hasn't released their official reason, students are angry about the announcement:

"I think it's because what happened last year upset the administration and brought a lot of negative media to them, and so they were angry," sophomore Sarah Setzer told the Daily Press. "They really don't have any reason. These are good teachers."

She also said that though school administrators had pledged to form a book-selection committee to review course material, little was accomplished. "None of the books were ever reviewed. The book ("Bless Me, Ultima") was never put back in school."

If the controversy stemming from Bless Me, Ultima is actually the reason behind the dismissal, that means that the complaint of ONE parent ultimately resulted in someone losing their job.  Wow.  That parent must be super-proud.

Not book related, but...

Sometimes it doesn't take very much to make me extremely happy.

Which Brings Me to You: a novel in confessons -- Steve Almond and Juliana Baggott

John and Jane are two of a kind.  Jane describes their type here:

I'm not sure there's a name for us.  I suspect we're born this way: our hearts screwed in tight, already a little broken.  We hate sentimentality and yet we're deeply sentimental.  Low-grade Romantics.  Tough but susceptible.  Afflicted by parking lots, empty courtyards, nostalgic pop music.

...

A wedding is the worst scenario.  We're usually single--surprising, I know--and least comfortable when socially required to say Awww, about kittens, sure, or greeting cards, and, in the present case, horrible toasts where weepy accountants say things like: To the happy couple.  Reach for the stars!  Weddings are riddled with socially enforced awwwing.  And so I'm pretty sure that I'll meet up with this guy at the bar, where we'll amuse the bartender, and we'll wander the golf course, talk pop culture, play the good game of cynicism.  I'm fairly certain we'll have sex awkwardly, like in his car or in the coat check once it's abandoned midway through "YMCA" and "Shout!" (though I might regret missing the opportunity of seeing middle-aged men rip their pants seams singing A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now), and later one of us will call the other one or not or we'll both think about it and we won't.  It's a little exhausting.

"A novel in confessions" is a perfect (and succinct!) description of the book -- John and Jane meet at a wedding, have an awkward and anticlimactic sexual encounter in the coat closet but still realize that they might have a real connection, so they begin to write letters.  Real letters, not email.  You know, with stamps?  Their letters are confessionals, chronicling their love lives up until and including the wedding. 

I was reminded of early Nick Hornby -- hilarious but still thoughtful and sometimes sensitive.  But Steve Almond and Juliana Baggott tended to be more raucous and lively and bawdy.  As I said, the book is an epistolary novel -- the letters are interconnected and both characters refer back to each other, responding and expanding, but each story/letter could almost stand alone.  I wouldn't try to read them out of order or anything, but it is a book that you can pick up and put down.  I believed in the characters, even if the situation was unlikely.

Feel like procrastinating?

Read it and laugh.

Dairy Queen -- Catherine Gilbert Murdock

OH!  I want a sequel.  I finished Dairy Queen this morning (started it last night) and I WANT A SEQUEL.  Right now.  I loved it.

Backtracking slightly...

A little over a week ago, this message appeared in my inbox:

Fly By Night was very good; the Helquist cover, blurbs, jacket description do it a real disservice, but the reason I'm writing is DAIRY QUEEN! Fucking awesome, like a cross between Joan Bauer and Chris Crutcher with a totally unique heroine. I loved it. The cover, by the way, BLOWS; she ought to sue for defamation of character.

You get a message like that from a certain trustworthy source and you know you must obey.  (Or at least I do.  I don't want to risk life and limb by irritating an Alaskan.) 

Really, I don't have a whole lot to add to her description of the book:  It is like a cross between Chris Crutcher and Joan Bauer -- very sports-oriented with a heroine that knows all there is to know about running a dairy farm.  Less of Crutcher's grit, but with more attitude and fire than Joan Bauer.  And yes, the cover art is so totally wrong that I'm a little shocked.  It's in the same league-of-wrong as the white kid on the cover of Whale Talk.  (Unless, of course the kid is supposed to be Chris Coughlin, since he has a letter jacket and all.  But that's a whole other post.)

D. J. has a totally believable voice -- a special, perfect, original voice that made me forget that she was a fictional character.  And in the brief moments that I did remember, I wished that she wasn't.  She's very matter-of-fact and non-angsty.  Like anyone else, she has her problems with friends, family and romance, but she doesn't moan about them.  She's the antidote for anyone who feels like they've been drowning in mean girl chick-lit.

Easily one of my favorite books this year.  I WANT MORE.

Tallulah Falls -- Christine Fletcher

After receiving a desperate phone call from her best friend Maeve, Tallulah drops everything and heads to Florida.  She makes it as far as Tennessee:

That morning, waking up alone in the motel room, she'd thought maybe Derek was getting a cup of coffee.  Maybe a paper.  She'd showered and dressed.  Walked outside.  The Honda Civic was gone.  Still, she'd waited.  She'd waited until checkout time, and when she went back in the room to gather her stuff she discovered her leather jacket was missing.  That and all the cash in her wallet.

So maybe asking a guy she'd gone out with one time to drive her from Oregon to Florida hadn't been the smartest idea.  But what else could she have done?  Even the cheapest airfare would have taken more money than she had.  Whereas Derek had a car and no job and he hated Portland.  Plus, he still liked her.

It had been a good plan.  It should have worked.

She lucks out -- well, she doesn't think of it as lucking out, but she does -- and is taken in by the staff of a local veterinary clinic.  The receptionist gives her a place to stay and the veterinarian gives her a temporary job so she can earn enough money to finish her journey.  All of her calls to Maeve go unanswered.

It's a solid read.  A bit draggy in parts, but solid overall.  She reminded me of other authors:  a bit like Joan Bauer, in that girl-has-a-job-that-is-a-huge-part-of-her-life-oh-and-there's-a-boy-who-works-there-too kind of way, a chunk of the Crutcher grittiness, a bit of Sarah Dessen's talent for creating a likable but imperfect main character. 

But Tallulah Falls doesn't have the same Bauer gentleness or Dessen's everything-is-eventually-going-to-work-out-don't-worry-too-much feel.  Or, for that matter, a Chris-Crutcher-totally-lovable-good-guy hero.  It's harsher and much darker.  As the book progresses, there's an impending doom sort of feel.  The cover art is a good fit.

Don't, by the way, read the Booklist review that is posted at Amazon:  A) They got plot points wrong, and B) They give away something rather major in the first sentence.

Let's break this down:

No profanity, no violence, no sex, no drugs, no drinking.  The offending name was removed.

And still, the school district refuses to let the poem run.

More on Alloy.

From the Boston Globe:

To help reach the older youths, Alloy recently bought Sconex, a teen-chat website. Its 360 Youth advertising division targets teens in public schools, college bookstores, military bases, movie theaters, even bar restrooms: ''Restrooms are a welcome break from the message assault," says the website. ''We provide the perfect reading material -- your ad -- and they would have to be asleep not to read it and absorb your message."

...

More than books for reading, Alloy titles are content packages, with potential for advertising and cross-marketing. The Alloy website says, ''Advertisers have the opportunity to get their products or services cast in these best-selling books. The value of these mentions far exceeds the hundreds of thousands of readers, creating a viral product buzz." It is not known publicly whether Manolo Blahnik, Habitual jeans, or La Perla bras paid for their mentions in ''Opal Mehta."

Eeeew.  Advertising is so creepily fascinating.  Next we'll probably find out that the founders of Alloy are Scientologists.

I need to re-read Feed and So Yesterday.  Like, right now.