Chet.

Now, I'm a pretty personable... erm... person.

I mean, I'm somewhat cranky, sure. But I'm usually cheerfully cranky, in a delightful (<--my opinion, Josh's may differ) and friendly way.

I'm not all that hard to get along with.

I swear.

But there's this one patron. We'll call him Chet*.

CHET IS MY NEMESIS.

Less because of any easily-describable interaction, and more because just the sight of him makes me want to start punching things.

Mainly him.

Last night, I dreamt about him. HE FOLLOWED ME HOME AND INTO MY DREAMS, THAT BASTARD.

So, I'm at my in-laws' house, standing in the kitchen, peacefully drinking a glass of milk. I set it down for a moment, taking a brief break from my enjoyable milk-drinking.

When I turn back to pick up my glass and finish my frothy cold beverage, I see that Chet—who is now in my in-laws' house for some inexplicable reason—HAS PICKED UP MY GLASS AND FINISHED MY MILK.

I ASK YOU: WHO DOES THAT?

There was more—with Chet joining my mother-in-law at the dining room table, but not sitting in one of the free chairs, oh no, but JAMMING HIMSELF INTO MY MOTHER-IN-LAW'S SEAT WITH HER, and another bit, in which he attempted to fake his way through a conversation about basketball with my father-in-law, but my father-in-law TOTALLY CALLED HIM ON IT, so the dream actually ended on a satisfying note—but I won't bore you with the gory details. Or, well, I won't bore you with them any more than I already have.

Suffice to say: CHET IS THE WORST.

More bulletins as events warrant.

___________________________

*Obviously not his** real name.

**Or her!

Comments

[Annie]

I usually don't like hearing about other people's dreams, but this was hilarious! Chet is totally the worst!

(Oh dear lord, I hope he doesn't show up in my dreams now!)

[looloolooweez]

I'm dying laughing! I know a patron just like this. Every time she walks up to the desk I want to growl like a cornered animal. Thankfully such people are few and far between... even the average "problem patron" is preferable, because at least then there's some entertainment value/lesson-learning going on.

[Jenn]

Most of my patrons are lovely, but we have one patron we affectionately refer to as bearded guy. He refuses to learn how to use computers, but he has no qualms about asking us to search the internet for the most random facts vaguely related to King Arthur (we think he's searching for the Holy Grail). When he's finished with the research questions, he likes to hit on me. So pleasant.

[Deb]

There's a patron like that at my library, too, only s/he was my nemisis from the moment I moved to town, made my life hell at my old job, actually lives by me (in a town of 200K people) AND once almost ran me over with his/her car. Everytime I see him/her, I also want to start punching him/her in the throat.

[Lindsey Carmichael]

I have a Chet, too! Actual, physical repulsion in his presence. A little awkward, because it causes uncontrollable trembling and then people keep asking me what's wrong. And I CAN'T TELL THEM. Why is it that the people that affect you like this are always the ones you have no choice but to spend time with?

[Professor Mortis]

I am glad to say I've never had a Chet follow me to my dreams.

Thank God.