bookshelves of doom

And my extra copy of Fragile Eternity goes to...

...Rachel, who recommended Steel Rose.

Rachel, I'll email you today to get your mailing address and then ship out your ARC of Fragile Eternity.  Congrats!

And thanks to everyone else for participating and for thenow ridiculously-long faerie portion of my TBR list.

Contest results.

Okay, it was a tie between:

Hot guys take classics
And act in plays by Shakespeare--
Can Janet save Tom Lane?
(Tam Lin by Pamela Dean)

and:

Bloody Jack Faber
Joins His Majesty's Navy
Too bad she's a girl
(Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyers)

So I flipped a coin, and the copy of Sovay goes to annie!  And, as there was only one entry on the Facebook page (What gives, guys?  Why don't more of you want this book that I didn't like??), it goes to Margaret for:

Strange Swedish creatures
Midnight sun and long winter
More human than us
(the Moomin books)

Congratulations, and thanks for reminding me about the books that have been languishing on my TBR pile!  Email me your mailing addresses, ladies!

Contest reminder.

If you want a copy of Sovay, be sure to get your haiku in before noon tomorrow!

Culling the herd.

As I just lugged home two boxes of books from the library book sale (oops), I've come to terms with the fact that I need to get rid of some books.

So.  I have two copies of Sovay that are up for grabs.  (No, I don't know how I ended up with two copies.  These things just seem to happen.)  While I personally thought that it was less-than-stellar, I'm sure someone else will just LOVE IT.

So, if you want it, post a haiku in the comments about a book that you think I WOULD like.  Winners will be announced next Friday.

I am cross-posting this at the BoD Facebook page -- one winner will be picked from each place.  (You can enter in both places, but each entry must be different!)

And the copy of Storm goes to...

Michelle, who needs books for her TAB.

I've actually decided to send out both copies, because I really don't need to keep one, so the second copy will go to Chrissie Morrison, who also wants to use the book as a prize.

Email me your addresses and I'll get 'em in the mail.

To everyone else, never fear.  I've gone through my piles of books and discovered many more doubles.  There will be more contests in the near future.

Haiku time.

I just made Storm: The Infinity Code sound extra awesomely appealing, right?  Well, somehow I ended up with two ARCs.  Who knows?  Maybe someone else will have a totally different reaction to the book.

So.  If you want the extra one, write a haiku about why you should get it OR about your favorite gadget-filled book/movie/show.  Post it in the comments here.

Winner announced after five on Friday.

Countess winner.

Actually, winners.

When I announced the contest, I only had one Countess ARC to give away.  But lucky for you, the editor of the reissues happened upon the contest and sent me some extra copies!  So there are actually four winners:

Sarah, for giving me nightmares:  "Mom plans, sister weds, sanity DIES."

Julie, for making me go, "Awwwwww...":  "There’s no romance in my life."

CC, because I've felt her pain:  "Three straight weeks working. No books."

Another Sarah, for another "Awwwww...":  "Because I never got that pony."

Email me your mailing addresses and I'll get 'em in the mail.

Honorable Mention (and a Lifetime Pass to my rapidly growing Romance Novel Library) goes to Dan for this gem:  "Leila sings great Shania Twain karaoke."

I will have you all know that while it is, I grant you, very funny, it is UNTRUE.  I would never sing Shania Twain in public.  Even if there was some tiny scrap of truth in the statement, it could be much worse -- at least I didn't slap my own butt while riding a big metal pig and singing Brick House. 

Win a copy of the Countess ARC.

Alrighty, kids!

As I occasionally suffer from Immediate Gratification Syndrome, I went out and bought* the Ibbotson reprints this weekend.  Then, of course, I received the ARCs in the mail this morning.

So.  The ARCs are up for grabs.  (Well, the Countess ARC, anyway -- I'll run another contest for Summer once I've read it.)

To enter, tell me in six words -- no more, no less -- why the copy of Countess should go to you.

Winner will be announced Friday, around noon.

*Technically, I bought Countess and Josh bought Summer (for me -- he wants me to stress that he bought it for me, not for him), but it amounts to the same thing -- I have an extra copy of each.

Summer Reading Haiku Results & New Topic.

I've been kicking myself all morning because I'd meant to write a haiku about the soul-destroying Grapes of Wrath, but I procrastinated.  Too late now.  Sad.

Anyhoo, the winners:

MotherReader and CC got me with their Haiku Conversation about The Book Thief (Glad to know I'm not alone -- I haven't read it yet either, MR):

Five hundred pages
That is some big commitment
Is Book Thief worth it?

For MotherReader:
how many yeses are five
plus seven? oh, rats.

And Carrie Jones' Danielle Steele mention just cracked me up:

No, Mom. I cannot
Read one more Danielle Steele book.
I'm sick of lusting.

As I spent the better part of an hour gleefully jumping around the library after reading this news (more about the news that there's going to be another movie than the whole Heath Ledger thing, but whatever), your new topic is:  Batman. 

Mine is:

Hated George Clooney
for Batman and Robin, but
not really his fault.

Poetry Friday/Haiku Contest.

Due to the WSJ piece, this week's theme is:

Summer Reading. 

What you're reading now, what you want to read, what you were forced to read as a kid and hated or loved...  Pretty much anything goes.

I'll post mine later today.

*Still no prizes.  I'm working on it.

Superman Haiku Results.

Whew.  You guys were awesome last week.  I couldn't just pick one:

Fave Cape-Mentions -- Jeremy and Debra Hamel:

Such a dumb costume
Underwear on the outside?
Edna's right: NO CAPES!!

Like my cape, Lois?
You're all about the cool look.
I can see through you.

Fave Pro-Clarkers -- Hayden and E. Lockhart:

Caped crusader--eh.
I make all my passes at
guys who wear glasses.

Me, I will take the
sweet, stammering journalist
over the hero.

Fave Lois-Related Haiku -- Fuse#8:

Ignores kid at work
Hands him over to Luthor
Worst mother ever.

Fave Movie Viewing Experience -- Lauren:

Tried to go with friends;
Needed food; line took forever;
sat in front row alone.

Okay, haiku kiddos.

I'm putting the Weekly Haiku Contest on hiatus through the holiday season (starting this week) because I'm already a big ball of stress.  Sorry!

Also, I'm taking a few days off from work (yeehaw!!) so I'll be away from the internet, too.  See y'all on Monday.

Music Haiku Results.

It will come as no surprise to anyone that Hayden won last week's haiku contest:

Every day is
like Sunday when you're fifteen
and not getting laid.

Email me your mailing address, and I'll send you the book!

New haiku contest.

Write a haiku about a piece of music that was important to you as a teenager. 

(If you are a teen, write one about a piece that's important to you now.  Duh.)

A copy of The Virgin Suicides will go to the winner.

Haiku Results.

Despite the haiku battle between Lauren and Laurenzmom, Running with Scissors goes to Steve:

old deep wounds;
dry turkey beneath
cranberry sauce

Weekly haiku contest.

Write a haiku somehow related to familial dysfunction.

Winner gets a copy of Running with Scissors.

Apple haiku results.

I had a hard time picking again, but I ended up going with Emily Kate's entry.  I just couldn't resist the book reference:

Jonas saw brilliant
rubies from the trees; crisp, sweet,
true and uncensored.

But honorable mention goes to Steve for a Millay-ish haiku:

Red cheeks and skin,
Autumn's fallen sweetness;
rotting at my feet

And to Lauren for pure snark:

Funny thing about
red delicious apples:
they're not.

Weekly Haiku Contest. (Sorry I'm late.)

I totally scored at the library book sale!

Write a haiku about an apple to win a copy of The Giver.

Cocktail haiku results.

I had a hard, hard time choosing this week!

The prize goes to Jessica, for:

"Tell me all your woes",
My shrink says as he freshens
my gin and tonic.

New contest later today.

Weekly haiku contest.

Okay, haikus about cocktails or psychiatrists.  (Extra points for a two-in-one.)  Go!

(Winner gets a copy of T. S. Eliot's The Cocktail Party.  I just discovered that I own two copies, even though I still haven't read it.  Yes, I know.  I'm a bad, bad person.)

Sci-fi haiku results.

Wow.  Obviously, I need to find more sci-fi books to give away.  You guys were awesome.  I'm giving the prize to FargoLopply, for:

Kissed his hot sister
a bit too passionately.
Yoda didn't care.

Fargo, email me your mailing address, and I'll get the book into the mail!

Steve gets a total honorable mention (he already owns the book, but wanted to write anyway) for this one:

Does Icarus count
as science fiction? What's more
classic than the Greeks?

If you all haven't read the others, you should.  New contest tomorrow!

Weekly Haiku Contest.

A copy of Neuromancer will go to the person that writes the best haiku about classic sci-fi: book, television or movie. 

Engage.

(Oh my god, I am such a nerd sometimes.)

Secret Life of Bees Haiku results.

Okay, so I asked for people's personal reasons for wanting a copy of The Secret Life of Bees.  I ran into a snag--yet another tie.  Luckily, I just happened to have two extra copies of the book, so I'll be sending out two prizes.  Congratulations, Chrissy and Lauren!

This comes from someone that is probably single-handedly responsible for the book being on the bestseller list for 87 years.  That she doesn't own it is just wrong:

Interestingly
enough, though I recommend
like mad, I don't own.

And this!  This is just silly. (I need your mailing address, Chrissy.):

not read it.
oh just be quiet.
yes, I'm drunk.

Weekly Haiku Contest

Write a haiku about why you'd like a copy of The Secret Life of Bees.  (Before anyone asks, if you don't want it, write a haiku about why.  Duh).

In other news, Lauren is running an Insult Haiku Contest this week.  Be there or be square.

Haiku contest results.

The prize goes to the snooty PhD to-be, both for the haiku itself and for the much-needed explanation of Western Haiku:

bag full of
apples- no longer
summer

Special recognition goes to Jeremy, for his version of Western Haiku (which was also the dirtiest haiku I've ever read):

I love this brothel
Soon I'll kill the sheriff dead
For now, I'll take head.

Special recognition to Lauren for her Insult Haiku, which, if I had been drinking something while reading, would have caused bad things to happen to my nose:

Steve Lento PHD:
giant freaking nerd. poetry obsessed.
get a life dooooood.

Good one, guys.  That was awesome.  New contest will be posted tomorrow!

Tuesday Haiku Contest.

There's a special prize this week--not the usual oldie-but-goodie book that I find in the library book sale.  Nope, the prize is a NEW book (only read once--by me), kindly donated by the fabulous people at Soft Skull Press.

So.  Win a copy of The Haiku Year by writing a haiku about something that you see or hear or feel today.  Here's mine:

Seams in the asphalt
tires pound out a quick rhythm
carrying me home

Not exactly traditional haiku subject matter, but that's in keeping with both the past contests and with this week's prize.  Oh, and don't feel obligated to stick to the 5-7-5 format--the poems in the book are Western haiku.

Last week's haiku results.

Obviously, I had a hard time choosing.

Actually, I totally wimped out.  There are two winners this week:

CC:  No less rare in life
       than books. Does Antigone
       have company? Good.

Chrissy:  I'm armed and angry.
            Move up or I will shoot you!
            We WILL take that flag.

The prize is a copy of A Wrinkle in Time, because Meg Murray is (in my opinion) one of the best angry young women of all time.  C.C. identified the books mentioned in my haiku, so that's the tiebreaker.  So C.C., you'll be receiving a copy of the book in the mail.

Haiku reminder.

My brain already hurts due to trying to choose between the fabulous entries in the Tuesday Haiku Contest.  Make my problems worse--don't forget to enter.  (This afternoon around 4 is the deadline).

Tuesday Haiku Contest.

Write a haiku about your favorite angry young woman, whether she is a real person or a literary creation.

Winner will receive:

Meg Murray: direct
descendant of M. Lennox.
Angry young women.

Extra points to those who can identify the prize.

The noir haiku results.

Weenies.  Except for two people, you all are a bunch of weenies!

C. C. wins, almost by default (although she probably would have won anyway, due to the mega points awarded for mentioning the Op)--the emo-hater got an entry in just under the wire, and while it mentions booze, there is no noir.  Lots of emo, though.

The Thin Man goes to C. C. for:

I'd write a haiku but:
Sam, the Op, assorted yeggs,
plus Charleses--full house.

Tuesday Haiku Contest.

Write a noir haiku, comic noir if you'd like.  Mention drinking for extra points.

Winner will recieve:

Nick and Nora Charles:
Two of Dashiell Hammett's best.
Three, counting Asta.

Last week's haiku results.

I have a soft spot for The Big Orange Splot, even if it is by Daniel Pinkwater (who I still haven't forgiven for all of the pain and agony he put us through with that awful Alligator book).  The prize goes to Laurenzmom:

Like Mr. Plumbean,
I'd paint my house to look just
like all of my dreams.

Email me your mailing address and I'll send you your prize!

Tuesday haiku contest, a day late.

Sorry, sorry.  You all have through Saturday since I'm posting this late.  I'll post the results on Monday.

Write a haiku about one of your favorite books.  The winner will receive one of mine.

(I'll post a haiku describing the actual book later today--I don't have time just yet.)

Later.  Okay, the prize is this book: 

          Steve loves Cassandra,
          But Cassandra loves Simon;
          Angsty run-down castle.

Decapitation contest - the winner.

Sorry that this is late, guys.  I forgot about the holiday weekend.  I had a hard time this time around, but I'm awarding the prize to Steve for this haiku:

the first crocus of
spring pressing upwards through snow;
look out for that head.

Something about the combination of traditional haiku and hilariousness just struck me.  Good one.

You'll shortly be receiving a copy of Patrick McCabe's The Butcher Boy in the mail.

Tuesday Contest.

Write a haiku about hiding a decapitated head.  Extra points for an Irish theme.  More extra points if you can figure out what the prize is.

Winner announced on Friday, fabulous prize.

Death by Pitchfork. The Winner.

And the winning haiku is by our favorite anti-emo kid (who, I must say, is in danger of the hamster button due to the lack of recent posts on her blog):

laser eyed scarecrows,
obligatory black guy,
copious nipples:

dark harvest's acting
will scare the crop out of you.
pun intentional.

I've got to give points to Lauren for the Cillian Murphy one, though.  You totally get honorable mention for this:

Cillian Murphy:
not a pitchfork killer but
I'm sure he will be soon.

Briana, I'll need your new mailing address, assuming you have one.  Or I'll give you your new copy of Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time to you the next time I see you.  (But getting mail is fun).

Don't forget.

The Death by Pitchfork contest ends today--you still have time!!  I'll post the winning entry by five o'clock.

Death by Pitchfork. The Contest.

Think of a movie or book where someone uses a pitchfork to kill someone. 

Write a haiku about it.  (Yeah, yeah, if you can't think of a specific instance, make one up.  But off the top of my head, I can think of two).

Winner will be announced Friday, and will, of course, receive a fabulous prize.

The "Truth is Out There" Contest -- Winner

And the winner is...

Steve, by default!  What happened?  No one else wants the coolest book ever about aliens?  (Am I sending this to the NY address?)

For anyone who's wondering, the book is:

Flying Saucers are Hostile: UFO Atrocities from Strange Disappearances to Bizarre Deaths (with 16 pages of photos!)

The "Truth is Out There" contest.

Give me your favorite tabloid headline about aliens or UFOs.  (The headline can be an actual headline or one you make up). 

Extra points for a blurb about the article.

Winner will receive a fabulous prize.

Winning haiku.

The winner is:

my mother used to
impale avocado seeds
and expect a plant

Chrissy

First runner up is:

the Food Dynasty
should not be allowed to sell
avocados at all

Lauren

However, due to her fear of avocados, Chrissy has graciously offered to pass the prize on to the first runner-up.  Lauren, address please.

Wicked awesome avocado contest.

Write me a haiku about avocados.

Winner gets a surprise.  (But you'll have to email me your mailing address).