bookshelves of doom

Banned Books Week, 2009.

Here's the wicked dorky picture of yours truly that will be part of our BBW display this year:

All of those books next to me (and behind me, and on the arm of the couch) are books I've read that have been challenged in this country at some point over the last five years.

(Well, they're the ones that happened to be checked in at the time of the photo.)

Links:

Challenged and Banned Books Google Map
The ALA's Most Challenged Books of 2008 list
The ALA Banned Books Week page
Wikipedia's List of Books Banned by Governments

Lookalikes.

After yesterday's day off, came in to find these two books on my desk:

 

Library ice cream?

Join the Facebook group today.

If you want library-themed ice cream, that is. 

If you don't, I don't know.  Have some lovely boiled rice.

Five weeks only.

The Rock-n-Roll Public Library, courtesy of Mick Jones.

Confessions of an Evil Genius, #46.

During today's Friends of the Library book sale*, one of the Friends decided to make some mystery grab bags of books.  So she asked me to make some signs (Grab Bags:  10 books for $3 -- No returns or complaints.) for her. 

On the romance sign, I used this image:

 

Nobody noticed.

Whatever.  I get my laughs.

__________________________________________________________________

*I spent eight dollars.  And brought home something like 32 books.  Josh doesn't know, as I'm totally not taking them out of my trunk until he's away from home.  (He totally won't notice another two or three piles if he doesn't see me carry them in.)

It's. Eighty. Cents.

Phone:  Ring ring.

Me:  Hi there, what can I do for you?

Patron:  I'd like to renew my books.  They're due today.

Me:  No problem.  They're renewed until the first -- but just as a heads-up, they were actually a few days late, so there's now a small fine on your account. 

Patron:  ...

            ...

            But the books weren't stamped!

Me:  Oookay.  I went ahead and deleted your fine, so there's nothing to worry about.

Me, UNSAID:  BUT I'D LOVE TO KNOW HOW YOU KNEW THEY WERE DUE 'TODAY', SINCE THE BOOKS WEREN'T STAMPED.  I'D HAVE BOUGHT IT IF YOU'D SAID THE BOOKS WERE STAMPED INCORRECTLY.  BUT NOT STAMPED AT ALL?  COME ON NOW.

Patron:  Good.  Thank you. 

Me, clenching teeth:  Oh, you're very welcome.

Bookdrop.

Checking in the bookdrop, we found this donation:

 

To which my co-worker said (yes, we talk to books):

"Oh, no you won't."

Then she mocked his surfer hair and we almost died when we discovered that he'd been given a haircut on the cover of the reprint.

We also found a donation of Danielle Steel's The Cottage.  Which, like pretty much all Danielle Steel books, has an amazing author photo:

  

Which led us to have a way-too-long-discussion about what Ms. Steel is wearing under that wrap, whether or not she dresses like that on a daily basis, who would win in a slapfight with Joan Collins, and if, assuming that there was a lack of top under the wrap, she could've gotten a job at Vassalboro's late lamented topless coffee shop.

And I'm not even going to post the terrifying ad we discovered on the back of Yoga Journal.

According to every patron who's been in this afternoon, it's gorgeous outside (and thank you all SO MUCH for telling us about it), so maybe that's why it's been so quiet.

Five minutes before the end of my shift...

Patron:  Do you have any books on footbinding?

Me (while checking books out to another patron):  Well, off the top of my head, there's Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, but I'm not sure how in-depth that part of the story is.  If you're looking for something more informational, I can check the catalog as soon as I finish helping this patron.

Patron:  Oh, yes, please.  I'd like something with a lot of pictures so that I can see it before I try it at home.

Me:  ...

       ...

       ...

       Oh my god, did you say BOOKBINDING?

Worst. Design. Ever.

Okay.  So these are the short-term internet use computers at my library:

 

Today, somehow, one of the computer towers got pushed all the way through the little rectangular shelf and into the base of the unit.

Design flaw #1: No stopper at the back of the shelf.

Design flaw #2: No door in the base of the unit.

How did we get it out?  Josh lay on the floor, wriggled his arms under the base and pushed the tower up as far as he could (which wasn't all that far because, DAMN, there was not much room between the bottom of the base and the floor).  Meanwhile, I dove into the shelf area UP TO MY WAIST (exposing, I may add, my soft white underbelly to a small crowd) and managed to get my fingernails into the thing and pull it back up far enough to lever it over the edge.  All the while keeping my pretty serious claustrophobia in check.

It was epic librarianing, man.  Epic.

284,000 library books missing from libraries in Japan in 2007.

This is just bizarre.

What's the point?  In most cases of huge piles of books disappearing that I've read about, the thieves at least try to sell the books.  Maybe these guys DO try selling them, and when the stores won't take 'em, the thieves just throw them away?  (Or enraged at their own idiocy, burn them?)

For your viewing pleasure.

We howled at this all day long:

Look!  She's messing up the poor guy's card catalog!  Sad!  Oh, now he's going to take of his glasses and shake out his hair and... oh, wait.  Not quite.  Well, an untucked shirt is similar, I guess.

Also, my darling YAs were in last night for a movie -- before and after the movie, they had an impromptu dance party in the library.  And I discovered that there is still much love for this song.  I apologize in advance:

Library porn.

 

Much more at Wired. 

Relativity.

Aaron*:  The only old movie I've seen is Back to the Future.

Me:  *headdesk*

_______________________________________________

*Name has been changed, etc., etc.

Kids nowadays...

Found this over by the computers:

 

As my coworker said, "Well, at least we don't have to worry about his self-esteem..."

Huh.

Patron, after accidentally making five photocopies instead of four:  Here's 46¢ instead of 50¢.

Me: Okaaaaay.  (Silently:  I wonder if she has ever tried that at Kinko's.  Or the post office.  Or the grocery store.)

ARGGGGG!!!

A patron just discovered that some jerk tore out the first chapter of The Longest Winter!!

  

Sometimes I really do adore my job.

Adam*, a high school sophomore, tosses a copy of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist on the circ desk.

Adam:  Hey, Leila.  I have to check this book in off of Jason's card and check it out on mine.

Me:  No prob.  I loved this book.

Adam:  Yeah?  Well, Jason and Joey** won't let me go and see the movie with them unless I read it first.

_______________________________________________

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

**Two other high school sophomores.  It should probably also be noted that the "Jason" character in this drama has been running around with a mini-poster for over a week now, telling everyone who will listen that the casting of Michael Cera as Nick was a travesty.  He's ALSO the same kid who showed up for the Breaking Dawn release party wearing a headband and a piece of notebook paper taped to his chest:

Jason, proudly:  Did you read my sign?

Me:  "I'm a horse?"  Were there even any horses in any of the books?

Jason, squawking somewhat:  WHORE.  WHORE.  I'm a WHORE, not a horse!

Me, semi-exasperated, but also trying unsuccessful not to laugh:  What does that even mean?  

Jason:  DUH.  I'm BELLA!!  God.  So obvious.  Can I use a computer?

It probably shouldn't, but it still makes me laugh.

The Rogue Editor* strikes again!

In our copy of Summer Island:

*AKA The Jerk Jackass. 

Link-o-rama.

• Josh Harnett is apparently a fan of Party Girl.
• Cute Overload loves Frank Herbert.  And also llamas.
  
• "Free" book scheme in Shanghai not working out so well.  Possible solution:  Remove the popular books.
  
• Citizens Against Pornography challenges (sort of) John Green's Looking for Alaska (and many others) in St. Louis libraries.  The woman who originally placed the complaint (or contacted CAP, at any rate -- it doesn't sound as if any official challenge has been filed) said "she hadn't seen books aimed at teens with "erotic" passages at the county's Daniel Boone Library before a visit last year".  Somehow I doubt that the library suddenly bought a bunch of books that deal with sex last year -- it's much more likely that the patron only just got introduced to YA books.  Regardless, if they're taking issue with the scene in Looking for Alaska that I think they're taking issue with, it's the least erotic thing I've read in my whole life.  Sex does not always equal sexy.
  
• Has anyone read this Disney/Jon Scieszka Alice in Wonderland book?  (Thanks, Jody!)
  
• One of the bazillion articles about the Sarah Palin/library stuff.
  
• Yoga banned from Brisbane library due to issues revolving around hygiene.  Or something.
  
• Poem pulled from the GCSE syllabus due to references to "knife crime" and goldfish murder:

A spokeswoman for AQA confirmed there had been three complaints, two referring to knife crime and a third about the description of a goldfish being flushed down the toilet.

I love that the article actually includes the poem in question.  Excellent work, Guardian.  Something similar happened when I was in high school -- the poem Richard Corey was included on the MEAs and people flipped out about the suicide reference.  I actually don't remember how it was resolved.

For real?

Arrested?  For two overdue books?  This isn't some weird publicity stunt or fundraiser?

Because she looks way too happy in that mugshot.

(via Pie)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 I found this most excellent bookmark while checking a yoga book in today:

 

Hee hee hee hee hee.  Patron yoga sex.  Hee hee hee hee... and also eeeeew.

Oh, wow.

Last night, I had a conversation rather like this one with a patron who demanded a computer even though they were all in use.

I swear, I said the words, "I'm sorry, they're all being used" at least 57 times.

BEAST.

[Later:  My Monday night partner-in-crime also felt the need to write about it!  And I just noticed that she called me a narc in her blogroll!  HEY!!]

Does this make me a bad person?

It really irritates me when random authors come in with copies of their random reference books and attempt to hand-sell them to me* at the front desk even though I've explained multiple times that 1) I am not the reference librarian and 2) the reference librarian is not available and that 3) yes, I am perfectly willing to give her his information.

Grrrrr.

*"And on this page, just look at this photo!  That couple was married for 56 years.  56 years, can you imagine?" "Well, yes.  I sure can.  And the patrons behind you in line are probably feeling familiar with the 56-year feeling, too..."

A perfect choice of bookmark.

I mean, aside from the whole "it's bad for the spine of the book AND the patron left it in there" thing...

I have no idea how I'll fit my huge head through the doorway.

After helping a patron with what might have been the world's oldest laptop*, he said:

"I always thought you were beautiful and smart, but now I know you're also a goddess and a saint."

YES.  I RULE.

*Seriously.  I was scared it might bite me.

Joyful sex still allowed in Nampa, Idaho -- but only in the library director's office.

From the Idaho Statesman:

The Nampa Public Library Board has voted to permanently remove two sex education books from library shelves, storing them instead in the library director's office and making them available only on request.

The board voted 3-2 Monday to have "The New Joy of Sex" and "The Joy of Gay Sex" kept off shelves for good, following up on a March meeting when the board voted to temporarily move the books to the director's office.

It sounds like local politics may have made quite an impact on this situation: according to the article, the books were challenged back in 2006 and the board voted unanimously to keep them. Since then, though, the Nampa mayor appointed three new board members -- and when the books were challenged again, all three voted to keep the books off the shelves.

The bit that really doesn't make any sense to me is this: one of the new board members said that this vote didn't set a precedent for future challenges, and that she would "not vote now, or ever, to consign them to the same fate as the two titles of discussion today".  ("Them" being books challenged in the future, I assume.)  If she voted to keep these books off the shelves this time around, then how can she know that she wouldn't vote the same way again?  And how in the world does it not set a precedent?

Maybe it's just too early in the morning for my pathetically tiny brain.

Nice shopping list, kid.

Someone returned a copy of Paranormal Phenomena: Opposing Viewpoints recently and neglected to remove this:

Heh heh heh.

I forgot to tell this story.

But I'll let Leia, because while I took the second call -- she answered the really exciting one.

Fug the READ posters.

In case you've missed this (as I had, until now), Your Neighborhood Librarian is tearing the ALA's READ posters apart.

And it's hilarious.

(via the Smart Bitches)

Today's timewaster.

Librarian Dress Up!

(via Kimbooktu)

Back off, Bon Jovi.

Just woke up from a nightmare in which some genius decided to hold a teen dance at the library.

During working hours.

And then the power went out.

Still have Livin' on a Prayer in my head.  Why they'd be playing that, I really don't know.  Probably simply to torment me.

As it was one of those dreams that made me more tired than I was when I went to bed in the first place, no posts for you today.  Go and play Grow or something.

Take a seat.

(via BookBoy)

Kansas City Public Library Parking Garage.

Lots more photos at Flickr.

(Brought to my attention by Adam)

Muh ha aa aaaa....

Woman sentenced to 10 days in jail for library theft

While calling the weekly overdues, my co-worker invariably waxes nostalgic about the Old Days, in which she went around town with a police officer, knocking on doors and demanding books back.

I bet she went around really, really early, too.  She's so cool.

I hate hate hate the word signage.

In this case, however, I'll allow it.

The Bluetooth sign is my favorite.  I hate those things* even more than I hate the word signage. 

(via Tales from the "Liberry")

*Yes, yes, I'd rather see people using them in the car than a handheld.  It's the people gabbing away while walking down the street, or in the grocery store, or IN THE LIBRARY that I want to kick.  Do they not realize that they're THIS CLOSE to being assimilated by the Borg?

Bookcarts pimped, winners announced.

The winner of the second annual Unshelved Pimp My Bookcart contest is: 

Timberland High School, of Wentzville, MO

If I had a bookcart that cool, I'd actually use it rather than what I do now, which is stubbornly wander around carrying a teetering stack of books and trying to balance them on my knee as I shelve.

Yuck!

From the BBC:

Thousands of inserts are to be placed into library books to promote the clients of advertising agencies.

The scheme offers advertisers 500,000 inserts in county libraries such as Essex, Dorset, Somerset and also Bromley, in Kent, and Leeds.

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Then again, there is potential comic value:

"Any product placement would have to be incredibly sensitive - in children's books, for example, or with adverts for something like a funeral director.

'Kay, quick poll.

The O.J. Simpson book is currently #13 on the bestsellers list, yet I haven't had a single patron request it.

Booksellers?  Librarians?  Have you had people asking for it?

Library lunatics.

I had a couple of tough patron interactions this week.  Rather than go into the details*, I'll send you over to read this article from the September 1887 issue of Book-lore at Google Books.

It's nice to know that we aren't alone.

And funny that not much has changed.  Sort of.

(link via Oz and Ends)

*Okay, you win:  How am I to be expected to help research a particular person when all I'm given to go on is the country of origin?  Hmmm?  No time period, no profession, no first name, no nothing.  And, obviously, no last name.  GAH.  And what ever happened to the word 'please'?  Did I miss a memo?  Has it become newly profane?

Still looking for your daily dose of crazy?

From School Library Journal:

The St. Louis County Library in Missouri says it believes a patron recently created an unauthorized YA book display of controversial books—and then accused the library of distributing pornographic materials to minors.

Well, someone's got lots of extra time on their hands.  Yeesh.

Heh.

Advantages to dating librarians.

Sadly, it's true.

(via Jeremy)

How many ninth-graders does it take to look at a MySpace page?

At least three:  One to do the actual typing, one to hang on the typist and whine, and one to lumber around the library whilst occasionally knocking things over and/or yelling across the room at the other two.

I'm getting so old.

"The average pupil borrows just one book a term."

From the Daily Mail:

Half of primary schools close their libraries at break and lunchtimes, while one in 20 ban children from taking books out on loan.

Uhhhhhh...

In elementary school, I was totally obsessed with two books:  A book about horror movies -- specifically, the chapter about the special effects -- and this other extremely strange cartoon-y one about all sorts of gadgets for cheating (like a homework machine -- AWESOME) and cleaning your room and avoiding horrid relatives.  I wish I could remember the title.  I took them out so often that they were hardly ever on the shelf. 

But then this other girl took a liking to the horror movie book.  That led to a minor war.

Ah, fourth grade.

The full report is here.

At least it wasn't used... this time.

I hate finding crumpled Kleenex in books.  Even when it isn't... full... it gives me the willies.

And I can't imagine that it would make that great of a bookmark.

Idiots.

From CBC News:

While the fire didn't cause any significant damage, the fire extinguisher used to douse the flames left many books and parts of the floor covered in residue.

Two 12-year-old boys have been charged with arson.

Fire officials say it's believed a paper cup was lit on fire and dropped through the book return slot.

I say:  Bring back the stocks in the town square!

(We watched the first disc of The Office (Season Two) last night.  I think that Dwight might be rubbing off on me.  Which is a little frightening.)

Slow news day in Wisconsin.

From madison.com:

Other bookmarks have been deflated balloons, used Band-Aids and Q-tips and slices of cheese and bacon.

"I don't remember if it was American or cheddar cheese," Grogan says, and the staff person who found the bacon doesn't remember if it was raw or fried.

A former employee at our library found a beer in the book drop.  Unopened, luckily.

I don't know if he drank it.

With all of the library blogs out there, I'm surprised that no one* has started a Found Bookmark blog.  Unless it's because everyone just sends their finds to Found.

*That I know of, anyway.  Correct me if I'm wrong.

Kate DiCamillo wins Tulsa's Anne V. Zarrow Award.

From Tulsa World:

"As a kid, books were like a light in the wilderness for me. I can't pick just one person that was a hero for me," DiCamillo said.

"But in every library that I went into, some librarian could tell that I desperately needed extra attention, and they would give it to me. And I was allowed to check out as many books as I wanted to. . . . I know what it's like to live in a small town. I know what it's like to live in a single-parent home. I also know what it's like to find solace at a library," she said.

More here.  I don't know if I'd call Edward Tulane "delightful" -- more brutal and devastating until the happy ending -- but to each their own, I suppose.  (I say that as someone who came away from the book loving it, by the way.  But wow, was it rough.)

So what will they say when there's no room for the new books?

From the Cornwall Standard Freeholder:

When Barbara Gale learned that thousands of books from her beloved library system would be heading to an Alexandria recycling plant, she took action.

"We went in and picked some of the best, some of the worst, some of everything," said Gale, one of six South Glengarry residents who checked almost 300 books out from the library in Lancaster before the branch's collection was scheduled to be culled in July.

Okay.  Weeding the collection is not an act of the Evil Librarians.  It has to happen periodically, to get rid of out-of-date nonfiction, of multiple copies of bestsellers that are no longer bestsellers (my library only needs, say, two copies of The Da Vinci Code, rather than eight), of books that just.  don't.  circulate.  We have limited space, people.  If we never got rid of anything, the collection would be wicked boring.

I've seen at least two other articles along these lines within the last few months.  I guess it's The New Thing to freak out about.

Library robbed by bandana-wearing varmint.

She got away with under $20.

Books in the Wild.

Way fun:

The Books in the Wild programme is an innovative book-sharing initiative targeting year 9 and 10 students.

Popular teen book titles will be left at locations around the city, including schools and indoor public areas.

Students are being challenged to hunt them down, register online and make comments before leaving the books in similar places for others to pick up.

Like BookCrossing, but with a target audience.  The website is here.