Blue Bloods -- Melissa de la Cruz

While I loved the textured bite marks on the cover of Blue Bloods, that's about all the book has going for it.

You know how there are some movies -- say, The Crap-ft, for instance -- that regardless of their supreme suckdom, can still be watchable?  Not only watchable, but that can carry along some sort of horrible compulsion to watch?  I know that every single time I've run across that movie re-running yet again, I end up watching the whole thing.  I know I'm not the only one.  I can't be.

Anyway.  I tried to stop reading this stupid book.  Every couple of chapters, I'd turn to Josh and say, "Okay.  I'm done.  This is so lame.  I'm getting another book."  Then I'd read a bit more and something vaguely interesting would happen and I'd end up reading another couple of chapters before repeating myself yet again.  Don't tell him I said this, but I have a very patient husband.

I would have hated the book less if I'd been able to put it down the first time I got irritated.

Granted, I should have known.  I should have known that I would not enjoy a vampire novel written by the author of The Au Pairs.  I mean, really.  So I have no one but myself to blame.  I'm going to take it out on the book anyway.  Spoilers ahead.

• By the end of the first page, I knew that the description was a tad much for my taste -- personally, I tend to enjoy spare more than flowery.  But I chalked that up to the genre -- I figured she was going for urban-gothic-horror, and as we all know, whenever you chuck gothic into the mix, adjectives are bound to start getting tossed around willy-nilly.  Also, I occasionally do try to be objective.  Occasionally.  (In case you haven't noticed, I gave up this time.) 

• Advertisers will be happy to know that the change of genre hasn't decreased the number of brand name appearances -- even though the main character shops at thrift stores, the product placement is rampant.

• Page 10, and I gave up trying to like the main character and her best friend:  "They finished each other's sentences and liked to read aloud from random pages of Infinite Jest when they were bored."  Again with the lack of objectivity -- I haven't even read Infinite Jest, but I've never failed to be irritated by its fans.  So Schuyler and Oliver immediately arrive (in my head) in The Land of Obnoxious and Privileged Pretentious Teenagers.  Sigh.  The only person I'm hurting is myself.  I really should have stopped reading.

• The other two main characters?  Jack and Mimi Force.  Twins.  His name is JACK FORCE.  What is he, a superhero?  A future American Gladiator?  Why not name him John Black and get it over with?  Yes, yes, Jack is his nickname, but still.  I shuddered every single time I read his name.

• Want to know where vampires come from?  They're fallen angels.  GAG.  The whole riff on that just made me think of that episode of Buffy with the vampire worshippers.  The scene where Jack Force (Can't you just hear some sort of sound effect after you read his name?) finds out that his father is in fact the archangel Michael.  That was just... yeah.

Add to that:  I didn't care about the characters, the descriptions felt forced and overdone (even accounting for my taste), the dialogue was flat and occasionally bone-stupid, and the fact that the whole book is obviously the first in a planned series of many...  That last bit was the last straw for me.  I'm not even going to try and find something nice to say about a book that was written purely to be a marketable product.

Of course, the reader reviews at Amazon completely disagree with me, so maybe I'm just a crab.

Comments

[c.c.]

That was awesome.

[Leila]

It just made me so mad. I felt like vomiting on the keyboard. Which, in a sense, is what I did.

[Amanda]

I've seen The Craft at least 5 times.

[Kelly]

God, I hate "Infinite Jest."

[Woosang]

Wow. Sounds like I would hate it to. Thanks for the heads up.

[Dianne]

i want to tell you that i just finished the book and i loved it. yes agree all you want and the fact that i am really slow at these things and that there is a definate gap between my comment and the others. but... i really liked the book. i found the product placement kinda annoying near the end, but im a fashion junky, so it made me have the clear image of that missoni printed dress, or the dior cigarette pants... it's intriguing. whatever... i liked it!

[Cadunka Dunk]

I haven't read the book, but have been comtemplating reading for a while. At amazon there are view who don't like this book, so it is good to find a honest book review and I love the way you describe it. Thanks

[Care]

i just finished this book today and i completely agree with you, this book annoyed the crap out of me the whole time and it was so long for going almost nowhere, but unfortuanately now that i have read it i will definately read the second one out sheer obligation

[skittles]

i personally find the book intriguing. i love vampire novels and i do not find a problem with the description and what not. it's a certain type of novel that doesn't appeal to everybody.

[Eldora]

Okay, I bought the book and read it too. And although my view of it isn't as harsh as yours, I admit it isn't the nicest book one could fall for. I would probably buy the sequels though. I don't like not finishing something after I have started it, even if it is kinda crappy.

[I<3Vamps]

I Loved the book. And I thought the Fallen angels was a good idea. New twist on the vampire stories are better then hearing the same thing over and over again. BTW If you read the First on you have to read the Second one because it's way better. You learn more about Schuyler, the Force Twins, and The silver bloods.

[Isabella Rose]

I personally completely disagree with your comments. I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and that is why I think you are a bit to harsh on the book. I am involved in drama and the description of all the characters interested me, not made me what to put it down. Not all people who read Infinite Jest are in The Land of Obnoxious ... that is basically categorizing every person on earth and is a horrible and mean thing to say. Just because those type of people bother you doesn't mean they will bother everyone else. Apparently, you have never had a friend that was close enough to you to be able to finish your sentences because if you did, it wouldn't have bothered you about the characters but would have brought you closer to them. I don't consider it to be a Gothic book. Just because it involves vampires and has a different story line does not mean it is goth, thats kind of like saying that all vampire books are Gothic books, which is definitely not the case, I loved the idea of the fallen angels thing and was actually sucked into the book even more because of it. Her idea of saying that Schuyler shopped at thrift stores was not to decrease the brand names, but to show how differently she dressed from Mimi and Bliss. With your description of the book, I understand why you didn't like it. Yes, I know you finished reading it, but even by saying that you should have put it down once is not giving it a chance. You can't judge a book by its cover and you definitely can't judge a book until after you have finished it. Maybe if you weren't so closed minded about the book in the beginning you would have been able to enjoy it more. I personally love the book and I am sorry that you don't feel the same way.

[andrea]

I LOVE THE BOOK IS SO CUTE I LOVE ITT A LOTE :)

[Rebecca]

THE BOOK IS SO COOLLLLLLL I LOVE ITTT SO MUCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Isabella Marie Swan]

THE BOOK I LOVE JACK IS SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT AND I HATE MIMI JAJA:) AND I WANT SKY & JACK TOGETHER!!!!!!

[Ashley]

okay so i totally have to disagree with you obviously this book was made for teenagers and i know this was just your opinion you were a little harsh and if you thought the book was so bad why didnt you put it down and stop reading it? i for one loved the book and all of the characters and suggest that people who did read the first one and enjoyed it should read the second one.

[me]

i think that this book was amazing. i read the first book then the second. your comments were extreamly harsh. when i was reading your comment i felt like you were trying to hate the book...kinda sad. anyways like many other people said if you like the first book read the second, and if you didn't like the first book i still think you should still read the second because it has a lot more things happening in it and a lot more character information and it is really good as well...and the falling angles think was really good!!!

[kelle]

pfft. welcome to Critic Wannabes, everyone.
why dont you ACTUALLY go read a book
instead of harping about one.
honestly. people like you make me sick.
never read a book and try to understand it.
read it
dont like it.
we got it.
it's people like you that drive kids away from books and into video games.

[Liz]

I read this book, and i really tried to be fair and tell myself it wasnt THAT bad, but this review really just highlighted all the rediculously stupid aspects of this book. The main characters are ALL dull and unrelatable, as well as the plot. Some 15 year-old chic gets pulled aside in the hall and is randomly called to be the new face for a jean commercial? Please. Archangel Michael is a vampire???? and people have a problem with Harry Potter?? This author had better hope not too many people like her book, cuz if it hits the mainstream people will be screaming for her blood. <--haha i didnt even mean to do that.

[J]

You want a vampire story? Read Anne Rice, or Stephanie Meyer, even. you want New York socialites preening for each other and having sex at parties? Watch Gossip Girl.

[mackenzie]

i really did like this book and the sequel. i think this review is way too harsh on it. This obviously wasn't your type of book so stop dissing it and try to look at the positives of it. It was intended for young adults and your obivously not one. While it's not Pride and Prejudice my favorite novel it was still a good read. I don't think this review does this book justice because it only focuses on the supposed negatives of the book. Over all I think that this book was really interesting and I couldn't put it down. It still might not be for everyone. READ TWILIGHT! by Stephanie Meyer at Stephaniemeyer.com

[dana meehan]

I really did love this book, it was intense, dramatic, and extremely hot! The second one is even better! But I was wondering when is the third one going to be in stores and does anyone else know any good vampire books?

[Nikki]

Alright, I first read this book in...October, 2007? Well as I started to read it, it seemed dry at the start, then slowed grasped my attention, I had never read a book by her and the idea of the fallen angels being the vampires really intrigued me. As I read the second book, I learned the names of some of the angels and they stuck, and it made more sence, hell, my little sister (age 10) was proud of me for knowing the name, being the religous-nut she has become. It does, at times seem forcibly written, but it also is hard to put down at times, I had to renew the book multiple time, simply because I would be offended at how often I couldn't understand what had happened, mostly at the fashion terms and all that jazz, but I got over it and continued to read it. On another note, ragging on a book because it did not tickle your fancy is not a 'nice' thing to do. Sure, I am probably WAY put of place saying this, seeing as I do it to, but you can't you say it gently? If I find a book out of my interest, and that happens alot, mind you, and someone asks about it, I simply state, "It didn't appeal to me" and tell them to find their own opinion about it. I am age fifteen, and my spelling probably shows it, but I try as hard as I can to encourage others to read, so posting things about a book that could eliminate the interest I am trying to fuel is not a 'nice' thing to do. And by quoting nice, I mean not 'smart', really, because it's how you get people to dislike you. I respect your opinion and will not force mine on anyone, so try to do the same, please.

[Nikki]

Oh, and Miss Dana?
A good vampire book series I read was 'Cirque du Freak', by Darren Shan, alittle bloody and gory at times, but good and attention holding at all times.

And the third, to my knowledge, is to be called "Revelations" and comes out Fall 2008.

[blah]

wats the sequel?

[Nikki]

it's Masquerade

[lily]

when is the thrided book coming out

[jade vans]

i read the book and loved it it was a lot questionable 4 my religion but i couldnt put it down i read the first and second some good vampire books i heard are twilight and series, vampire academy, and blue bloods the other best series that is not vampire is the clique series

[crissy]

At first it was alittle boring, then it started to grab my attention. I thought that the way the author described the characters was awsome, and i can see that with Mimi she was going for the "every girl should want to be me" type thing. And to read about an outcast was actually really cool considering there aren't to many people who write about them ( especially the "gothic" type". There were a few things about it i didn't like but no author is perfect.Over all it is an awsome book and you should definetley read the sequel!

[minnie]

ummmm i read all the books and they were wayyy awsome so plz do not be a hater.
u dont like the book thats fine but know one wants to hear about it..... plz SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
thnksz 4 hearing me out :)

[azazel]

that was quite harsh. i've read it and i loved it. the beginning was boring, sure, but that's (in my opinion) how most books start---boring. but it gets more interesting. that's all

[hannah]

lol @ teenage fangirls