Eclipse: Twilight, #3 -- Stephenie Meyer

The Short Version:

Dear Bella,

DUMP THEM BOTH. Also, stop whining. It's unattractive.

Thanks,
Leila

The (Slightly) Longer Version:

Seventy-five pages of entertainment does not counteract five hundred and twenty-five pages of guilt-ridden moaning. 

I have reached the point where I really don't understand why ANYONE is in love with Bella, let alone practically every male in the Forks area.

I'd rather read Jacob/Edward fan fiction. 

Bah! BAH!!!

Comments

[charly]

I started reading the first one of these the other day, and ugh, they're so annoying!!

[Sarah Miller]

SO glad I didn't have a mouthful of hot tea when I came upon that!

[Moxie]

You are the best. That is all.

[cc]

I presume you will shortly be erasing your identity to go on the run?

(You couldn't get me to read those books with an electric cattle prod.)

[sassymonkey]

You said it! I get why Edward is nuts about her - the whole blood thing. But why Jacob too? BAH! It's gotten to the point where I don't like any of the characters. Except maybe Alice.

[Nonanon]

Ha! Don't go on the run. The rest of us who have had just about enough of the series will defend you. Personally, I think Jacob can do better and Edward's too boring for words. Time for a series about Alice, I agree with Sassymonkey.

[Katie]

Thanks for the warning. I'm still waiting for my hold to come in, but maybe I won't read it after all. The crying and whining was nearly too much for me in New Moon. Sounds like it only got worse. Out of curiosity, which 75 pages were entertaining? Maybe I could just skip to those.

[Kailana]

Bella has gotten progressively worse since the first book. I read the first book, I complained she was annoying, I read the second book, she annoyed me even more, I started the third book and it is not done because honest to god Bella has to be one of the most annoying characters ever! And a love triangle, okay in New Moon, bad when it becomes one of the major themes to your series.

[Chrissy]

Thank you everyone! I read the first book and enjoyed it and have been avoiding reading any further. Now I don't have to keep fretting over whether I should. Sounds like I'm good right where I am.

[Gwen]

Thank GOD I am not alone in this! I thought maybe I was just getting too old and cranky (because honestly, staying 18 forever with a 17-year-old husband, no matter how hot, sounds kind of dreadful to me).

[ali]

I knew I had had enough of Bella when I was wishing I was a vampire so I could have the pleasure of killing her myself! I think saying 75 pages were exciting is pushing it.

[Erin]

I'm 3/4 of the way through this book and I'm definitely starting to feel you. If I have to read, "I'm plain, I'm unfashionable, I have to be part of the battle even though someone will probably rip my head off or die because of it" one more time -- I may give up. I was hoping the ending would redeem the novel for me, but I'm guessing from your description that it didn't.

[Kelly Fineman]

Ha.

Ha ha.

Hahahahahahahaha! Thank you for that!

[TadMack]

L, I'd stick with the short version. I, too, read Book 1, was mildly diverted but mostly annoyed, and Book 2, was largely annoyed and not much diverted. I don't think I'm going to go there with Book 3 unless I am very, VERY bored on a deserted island somewhere...

[a Paperback Writer]

I'm glad to hear others' opinions about this.
My biggest issue with the books is that Bella's a wimp. (Okay, I haven't read book 3 yet, but your comments tell me she hasn't changed much.) She gives up all sense of self to wrap her life around a guy. Okay, so he's hot, but still.... We grown up women know all too well what happens to gals who throw away their own lives to be the support system to some man: the jerk leaves and the gal is left with no education and no career and no life.
I'm fine with adult women reading these books instead of trashy checkout line romance novels, and I even like them for a fun, light read (sorry if that bothers anyone), but I worry when my junior high students (girls) read these books because I fear they'll absorb Bella's attitude and make it their own.
Now, THAT'S scarier than vampires and werewolves.

[celerysoda]

Wow... I was hoping that "New Moon" was sophomore slump and that "Eclipse" would come back with a bang. Guess not! I think I'll save my eyesight for something more deserving. What a bummer.

[cat]

Well now, I thought that the first book was terrific! The second book? Not so much. I was so disappointed when she introduced werewolves. The whole werewolf vs vampire thing has been done to death. And dude! If I wanted to read about werewolves? I would! I want to read about VAMPIRES in this book. And I can't stand Bella. I used to think Edward was cool, not anymore. And I never liked Jacob.

And your post just made me laugh out loud for the first time today. THANK YOU!

[web]

Just from a skim, I think you're spot on.

[Lisa]

I waited until just this July to read books 1 and 2. My initial impression was "these are the dumbest books I have ever read, but I can't seem to put them down." Since 3 followed so quickly on, I figured, eh, why not? Glad I did, because that got it out of my system quick. My take is that there is a certain type of book that is going to appeal to a certain type of person of a certain age, e.g., The Fountainhead or most books by Anne Rice. Or for those of us old enough to know better, sometimes a book recalls a certain fantasy, a little pinprick to bring back adolescent yearnings (who wouldn't love having the most beautiful boy you ever saw fall in love with you?). Still the dumbest books I ever read, though.

[Lisa]

I waited until just this July to read books 1 and 2. My initial impression was "these are the dumbest books I have ever read, but I can't seem to put them down." Since 3 followed so quickly on, I figured, eh, why not? Glad I did, because that got it out of my system quick. My take is that there is a certain type of book that is going to appeal to a certain type of person of a certain age, e.g., The Fountainhead or most books by Anne Rice. Or for those of us old enough to know better, sometimes a book recalls a certain fantasy, a little pinprick to bring back adolescent yearnings (who wouldn't love having the most beautiful boy you ever saw fall in love with you?). Still the dumbest books I ever read, though.

[Jade]

I occasionally read your blog, and someone pointed me in this direction today, so I have to leave a comment saying HAHAHA. So true. I've only read Twilight, and everyone tells me I need to read the others but I'm kind of dreading it. (My reaction to Twilight was not to write a letter to Bella, but to script an intervention for Edward telling him to GET OVER HIMSELF.) As Lisa said, "These are the dumbest books I have ever read, but I can't seem to put them down." I giggled my way through Twilight and then put it down feeling guilty that I'd even been partially amused. Blech.

[Julie]

Here is my letter:

Bella,
Please send all diamonds, Porches, tuition cash, and extra boyfriends that you DON'T want to me.
Thanks.

What is WRONG with her? Why is she so whiny and grumpy in this one? How tedious.

[Rivkah]

I've only read the first book, but when I got to the part where Bella discovers that the reason vampires can't go out in daylight is because they are sparkly, I put the book down so I could hold my sides while I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

[Petrichor]

RIGHT ON. Bella, you're annoying! Edward, you're boring! Jacob, get over it!
Yeesh. I have no interest in reading the fourth one (yes, there's ANOTHER coming) whatsoever.

[Mara]

Beautiful. Described most of my reactions to this entire series in 100 words or less.

[Ruby Diamond]

I liked Eclipse the best of the three. I think that Stephenie Meyer is becoming a better writer as she goes along. The books aren't classics -- we'll see if they stand the test of time -- but they're fun reads, if you ask me.

[missy]

i dont know why you post stuff like this if you know a fan of this literature would fall upon it. it would only make them seriously angry. many people like this book. and im not saying that you should get rid of your site or what you posted but that maybe you should tone it down a bit. people could get really agrivated by what you post

[i hate emo kids]

I'm slightly aggravated by what you just posted, missy...if not for your implied love of opinion censorship, for your atrocious spelling. And I'm trying hard think think of a popular book I hate so I can continue the trend of hurting feelings with my whims...

Speak! I hated that book. Suckity-suck-suck.

Ha.

[Princess Sarah]

I have to agree with some of you . New Moon seemed SO BORING to me. Ugh ! I like Edward better than Jacob. Wait! I can't really stand Jacob at all! I never really knew what was Rose's problem. Now I know why. Its sort of sad. I LOVED Twilight and Eclispe, But New Moon seemed like a failure. Bleh!!! I can't really picture what they all look like. Especially Edward. He is to perfect! But what's up with the Edward Fan Club. When I saw who was in the club, wow. They're all high School girls who have nothing better to do than to drool over a fictional guy! What the heck! I mean... get a life. Meyer is pretty good though. She does get better. She's going to write 3 more books about it. Either Edward, Jacob (eww), or Bella will be the narrator. I like edward and bella. Pretty much everyone except the werewolves. Well see ya! TTFN!

[Mosylu]

I let out a scream of laughter when I read your review. I'd been feeling guilty for not getting into this series. I read the first and was like, "Eh, s'okay." In the second, I was like, "Girl, PLEASE. You are NOT Juliet. Don't make me smack you." Nice to know that I can skip the third one. Which I was planning to do anyway.

[mrs. cullen]

Whatever you people say, Edward's still amazingly sexy and he's mine.

[the next hot vampire]

i think that it's sad that stephenie meyer thinks that when she is writing bella's extreme mood swings it is what normal teenage girls acts like. Or perhaps it is just a sad memory of how stephenie once was.... or still is...jk!!!

ya and i second that letter to bella for diamonds,porches, and boyfriends THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT
and that made me want to write my own letter

dear bella,
your a sad pathetic girl with a bad case of PMS.
if you happen to be given a 911 turbo look me up because i could use one right now my car just broke down!!

I THINK THAT ALL YOU POSTERS ARE ARE RIGHT ON I THINK THE BOOKS WERE OK AND I COULD NOT STOP BUT LAUGH AT when bella told emmett that edward could do everything right
but i guess thats not true because he picked her over me!!!

[the next hot vampire]

but i got to admit that the books are still addicting
and i have found a way around bella's mood
just skip her mood and add your own it makes the book so much better

[kk]

i loved these books they are the best things ever and i don't understand how you can hate bella. Stephiene meyer is a wonderful writer and she keeps getting better and better with each new book and i can't wait for the 4th one. so ha

[I LOVE Vampires!]

I dont understand all the negative comments against Stephanie Myer and Bella. Twilight and Eclipse were the best books i have ever read. Stephanie is a wonderful author and her books are wonderful, New Moon was very depressing but still GREAT SERIES... I love Twilight and cant wait for #4!!!

[Forks my home]

i cant what for the 4 one its going to be so great i hope!!!!
oh my goodness i hope they let meyers pick the people for the movie

[alyyyyx]

the books are AMAZING! perfect the way they are except that bella is in love with jacob that ruined it a bit, apart from that brilliant

[irishdecent88]

needless to say i dont think some people fully appreciate the quality of a great novel, even if it's in their own hands. it's difficult to fully grasp the concept of imagery and be able to write with such enthusiam and imagination as Meyers does. i guess too many people compare her to Anne Rice, who without a doubt is probably the best author of vampire fiction ive ever read, but sometimes you have to put aside the comparisons, and enjoy the novel as and how it's written. Meyer's is an excellent author and the way she twines and shapes her words sometimes amazes me, although her novels may be geared to a younger crowd, i still think she can attract the older/adult crowd as well. i'm a little older and tend to lean towards the young adult section in any book store i go to, maybe because it's the way the authors have a plot and grasp it and ride it to the end, never steering away to pick up on what happened in the beginning. it's just easier to read a novel that is constant and to the point, and not haphazardly jumping between two or three characters in the novel. and meyer's does just this, she knows what point she wants to get across and writes until it's through. as for "rivkah", not every novel that has to do with vampires has to be the same, everyone has their own opinion and how boring would it be if every novel that was about vampires was exactly the same, every one. the fact that meyer's had some IMAGINATION in the subject is a good thing, it makes her writing unique and different from all the rest, that's what attracts me to her novels. i have yet to read the 3rd, but hopefully i'm going to be picking up one soon, i cannot wait. cheers to Stephenie Meyers, and please, please keep the novels coming.

[Twilight is awesome!]

Some of you people are stupid! Edward is so not boring. Maybe if a few of you people actually had a bit of intellect you would see that many of the things both he and Bella say are very funny and witty. Also, what is with everyone thinking Bella has mood swing issues? People saying that it is sad that Stephenie Meyer thinks that is the way teenage girls act are dumb. Bella was never supposed to be normal, duh! Did you even read the book?

Hahaha! I actually do read Jacob/Edward fan fiction! It's better than the real stuff, and the best part? No Bella! (They also cure Edward of his unwavering boringness.)

[purpleviolets]

SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME!!! *tackles with insanely long hug*
Yes! I have waited for so long!
The only reason I read Twilight is because my friend threw it at me (no, really. She physically threw it at me.) and told me that if I did not read it I would die a thousand deaths. So, I read it, of course. My life was at stake! Haha. Stake. Vampire humor.
Okay, so here's the deal. I love supernatural themes (and I love the show Supernatural). Supernatural (the show) is such a great example of a paranormal story line done right (and so is Buffy). They're both frightening, intense, and violent at times, but they're never full of themselves. They have such a perfect blend of humor and horror. It seems as though Stephanie Meyer was following the wrong recipe when writing the Twilight saga. These books would have been much more enjoyable guilty pleasures if:
1. The main character wasn't so damn annoying.
2. The other characters were actually INTERESTING and added some spice (I say this with the exception of Alice, who is awesome).
3. There were just as many action-vampire scenes as there were romance scenes (or more, preferably).
4. Bella could do something other than bleed! Come on! Where were all the kick ass girls?!
5. The cheesy vampire-werewolf-human love triangle was nonexistent.
And 6. Meyer's studied episodes of Buffy and Supernatural to learn how to blend teenage/highschool life and the paranormal to create a delicious chocolate cake of guilt!
Well, there's my two cents. Or whatever.
(another series I hate that everyone seems to love: A Great and Terrible Beauty. The main character annoys me too.)

[Leo]

I love the Twilight series. I think these books are so addicting. I love the characters, and do not find Bella whiny or annoying, or Edward boring. If anyone is whiny and annoying in these books, it is Jacob. I cannot wait for the fourth book. Oh my god last post, sorry but I love the A Great and Terrible beauty series. ok of course Bella and gemma make mistakes and are annoying sometimes, BECAUSE THEY ARE TEENAGE GIRLS. jeez. if they were perfect that would be so boring. These stories are as much about the supernatural part of it as how it impacts their lives. My only complaint about the twilight books are that all the action is in the last two chapters. I think they are very well written, addicting, and enjoyable reads. I love edward and Bella and how they are together. Stephanie Meyer is amazing for making these fictional characters seem so real and enjoyable to read about.

[leo]

and people, it is a romance story! No one told you it was an action story. And you can't say the synopsis is misleading. I believe the exact words say that she falls in love with a vampire. I love these books, and am a huge huge fan.

[Kate]

I love these book so much. It took me only 1 week to read the first two[which was hard cuase i had a crap load of homework whic was insane]. But idk y i think bella had to be whiney.....i mean it makes a whole lot of sense so i think you playa haters need to chill out. If you lost someone you loved that much im pretty sure youd b like that if not worse.....so yea

[sta]

Fuckk yuu all... der amazin..if uu dnt lykk itt piss off n get sum taste

[Maddie]

Enjoyed Twilight. Loved New Moon. Love Jacob. Enjoyed Eclipse. You brought me to the light. Bella *is* really whiny and emotional. And in Breaking Dawn her mother says she's never been a teenager? Please. Bella is the perfect example of a PMS-y teenage girl. She needs to move somewhere sunny and find a guy who boosts her self-esteem.

[Becky]

I think all of you people are crazy. Obvioulsy you are not reading and thinking with open minds. If you have ever been in Bella's shoes then you might know where she is coming from. Until then, you have no right to judge her. Just wait until MIDNIGHT SUN comes out. It's written in Edward's perspective. Read it and you might understand a little better. If not, then I feel sorry for you.

[iluv2sk8]

Dude i love these books! i want 2 see the movie! y do u all HATE Bella? ill bet you would run away sereaming if u found out ur bf was a vampire!!!!! soooo think about that!
ok the thing about vampires in sun is a bit ridiculous, but whateva

[Lynn]

I am actually amazed how everyone here HATES the books and honestly dumfounded. For really bad books everyone sure has a VERY strong opinion. I for one LOVED each and every book. I loved being caught up in something different. I loved that I liked Edward and Jacob and that sometimes I DIDN'T like Bella. Re read all the comments above again and then tell me who is whinning? Stephenie you ROCK!!!!

[Josette]

Haha! The short version sure is funny.

I liked reading Jacob's point of view too even though it's so short. He's one of my favourite characters.

[Eva]

Did this get cross posted on the LUV eDwARD 4EvAH! fansite?
I thought the movie for Twilight was fine (watched it on a long bus ride), but a bit overwrought. And the Dad! They actually trust him to carry a weapon?

Seems like harmless fun but I'm not interested in an excess of brooding.

[in luv wit Twilight]

luv twilight just saw new moon its great too so i dont know why some of yall hate it