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19 November 2007


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Because...otherwise kids would try to light things on fire with their nose flames? I can see how that would be a safety hazard. If you had BRAIN DAMAGE.


Thanks, Gryph, for making me snort hot tea out my nose.

At least I didn't set anything on fire.

Brian F.

You know, maybe it IS time we cleanse children's lit and make it more safe. Back when I was a kid, the swingset was located on blacktop. Nowadays when you visit a playground, the swings are over cedar chips. We must protect the next generation and fill books with more cedar chips! I propose the following changes to popular kids lit:

A WRINKLE IN TIME: Well, we can't have children cavorting around tesseracts. Someone could lose an eye (and just try to find it again in a transdimensional vortex). Meg and company will simply have to go on their quest with the aid of sufficiently air-bagged Big Wheels.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: I'm sure the Pevensie children would have just as much fun exploring the inside of a tea cup as they would a danger-laden wardrobe and it certainly would keep them from being exposed to lions and fauns and other potentially toxic, dander-related allergens.

THE WESTING GAME: Simple solution--anyone under the age of 21? Let the Ritalin treatments begin!

That should do for a start.

Andrew Karre

Who are these publihsers that even have time for this nonsense? Are publishers getting sued for this kind of thing in Britain? I doubt it.

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