From the Guardian, a list of things Madonna's kids must and mustn't do while they visit their father:
Some are quite sensible, or at least understandable: the boys are not allowed to read newspapers or magazines; Guy should not discuss the separation; they should be allowed to call their mother; they shouldn't be introduced to any new female friends Guy might have accrued. Then there are the less understandable ones: all water they drink must be Kabbalah water, their toys must not be "spiritually" unsound - but these are par for the Madonna course. What really raises the eyebrows is the last order: David must be read the English Roses books that Madonna wrote.
My emphasis, obviously.
::rolling around, clawing out eyes::
Okay, actually that's not fair. Have you read them? I honestly cannot find one person in our circle of acquaintances who has. One of us should. Obviously. Someday. Take a bullet for the group. Out of love, and all...
Okay, let me stop.
They're probably rather popular here in the UK. I shall go straight to the library and find them.
Tomorrow.
Posted by: TadMack | 14 November 2008 at 08:05 AM
That's kind of funny. I think it just shows that she's accustomed to having the world seemingly revolve around her.
Posted by: Bookfool, aka Nancy | 14 November 2008 at 09:28 AM
A bit crazy, definitely, but it is nice to hear about celebrity who is invested in everything their children are doing. I don't even have a TV and I was so "brittany'd out" the last year or two, it's nice to hear some star who is interested in their children (asides from Brangelina who might be a little too invested? in making kids? oh well...).
Posted by: tzveyah | 14 November 2008 at 10:21 AM
Why on earth are they not allowed to read magazines or newspapers???
Posted by: Debra Hamel | 14 November 2008 at 02:23 PM
That made me throw up in my throat just a little.
Posted by: Michele Thornton | 14 November 2008 at 03:30 PM
Wow, talk about being controlling.
Posted by: Liz B | 14 November 2008 at 03:56 PM
I don't think any child needs to read about his parents divorce in a newspaper, and that's why they shouldn't be left lying around the house. Not something you have to worry about with most kids, but there's celebrity for you. I don't see that the English Roses should raise eyebrows any higher than the kabbalah water (WTF? Do you wonder if Suri Cruise drinks Scientology water?) Madonna obviously drinks not just the water, but the koolaid--she wrote the books as religious doctrine, she wants her kid indoctrinated. Like if you were Christian and wrote Bible Stories, you'd want your kid to read them.
Posted by: hope | 14 November 2008 at 04:10 PM
What's so great about Kabbalah water, I wonder? And why is she torturing those poor boys by making them read her books? So she can say with a straight face that she knows someone who read them? Reading under duress doesn't count.
Madonna. I'm sure the Brits will be glad to see the back of her. I went off her when I saw that movie she made, and she was slagging Kevin Costner (?). She was so mean I felt embarrassed watching her.
Posted by: Sheila | 14 November 2008 at 06:05 PM
My guess is that she has been reading them as part of a bedtime routine. If I were sending my kids off to their dads for the first time, I would want at least some of their routines to be available.
The water stuff sounds kooky, though.
Posted by: beth | 14 November 2008 at 09:54 PM