Twilight/NewMoon and the National Domestic Violence Hotline's Am I Being Abused? questionnaire.

While I think that this blogger did a bit of reaching on some of the questions, there were enough easily answered with a big fat YES to creep me right the hell out.

I mean, yeah.  It's pretty apparent even without the list, but somehow the checkmarks make it that much more yicky.

On the hilarious side of things, there's the first two paragraphs of this AV Club review.

Comments

[Jodie]

Domestic violence has always been a part of the romantic trope that Meyer is clearly into (Heathcliff, Rochester etc)and has incorporated into her stories. Of course there's a huge difference between how Jane ends up (in control of her own money, basically running the life of a man who has to rely on her and choosing to marry because she wants to) and how Bella ends up, but essentially the heros of these kinds of stories feed into Edward. What I think readers need to ask themselves is how much do we need this kind of romantic subgenre to continue to be written (especially when we have so many better ones) and how appropriate is it in a contemporary setting (in my opinion NOT AT ALL!). Also the whole werewolf thing creeps me out 'but what if I got mad at you Bella?' well you'd control yourself like all the other men who don't beat women when they get angry wouldn't you? Oh, was that not the right answer?

[reader and writer]

re: the article link... I agree somewhat, but I don't know. I think the element of danger within the relationship is why the books are successful, which is the same for any thriller, suspense novel. Stephen King is a millionaire because of it. So to say there shouldn't be any risk -- of Edward not being able to stop "turning" her and kill her instead, or of Edward pushing her away because he fears he'll hurt her -- it wouldn't make for much of a book, would it?

Okay, so watching her sleep in Twilight creeped me the heck out, as did the scene in New Moon with Jacob in the truck and the "what if I hurt you" bit, but...

Believe it or not I have a bigger problem with these boys -- as in, why don't they grow a pair? Fawning all over Bella as if she is the ONLY girl on planet earth worth living for (though she has no goals, hobbies, ideas, or even any desire other than to be fawned over) to me, is more damaging to girls. Is all-consuming attention from boys something to strive for? Is a guy that has no other interests a prize? Not really. It feeds into the reality TV culture we've got going on now. I'm a DIVA! I'm a REAL HOUSEWIFE! I'm a PRINCESS! A SURVIVOR! I need a BACHELOR to make me complete. I have no moral standards or original thoughts, but here, boys, worship me or I'm going to behave very, very badly. I'm going to get drunk on national TV, start screaming matches, and trash-talk everyone... (in other words, I'm gonna throw a tantrum like a child) ... or if I'm Bella I'm going to use Jacob wolf-boy, monopolize his time and lead him on, even though I don't really like him, because I NEED TO BE ADORED. Then, when I'm done, I'll fling my damn body off of cliffs and drive motorcycles at top speed until I am the center of this other guy's world and he LOVES ME...

Who is more screwed up? Who is manipulating whom? I still haven't figured it all out.

[LG]

Personally, after reading the Twilight books and The Host, I've decided that Stephenie Meyers has a very unhealthy idea of what constitutes love and close relationships. All her heroines are masochistly in love with someone - Bella knows, and Edward repeatedly tells her, that Edward could snap and kill her at any moment, and The Host's Mel keeps trying to go after Jared, not believing, despite the oodles of evidence, that he'd kill her or at least beat her to a bloody pulp.

[Libbie]

As a former Mormon who was raised in a very traditional Mormon family, let me just state for the record that I am not AT ALL surprised by Meyer's characters. Brainless Bella is basically what every girl is raised to be in that culture -- empty; willing and grateful to be controlled, body and mind, by her husband; only becoming something of worth when she makes a lot of babies. (Recall that her magical Renesmee-producing ovum is the only reason why Jacob thinks he loves her so.) Edward is also exactly what a male is supposed to be in the culture: Pure and totally without sexual thoughts or feelings until after marriage, and absolutely able to resist temptation until then; full of de facto wisdom; obviously a better thinker than his female; but incomplete without being magically bonded to her (so they can make a lot of babies.)

I'm not shocked.

And while I doubt there is more physical domestic violence in LDS families/relationships than in any other situation, I have no doubt at all that the culture itself is emotionally abusive to females. It sets us up for the expectation that we'll be weak, our thoughts are invalid, we'll be controlled by a man, and have no real worth in our world until we've whelped a litter. Fortunately a lot of modern families, especially those that are not in proximity to the Utah/Idaho area, are breaking out of this mold and women have a more modern life. But it's still there.

Anyway...you have, of course, seen Roger Ebert's review of New Moon, right?

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091118/REVIEWS/911199998

[Zo]

OMG... Are you serious Libbie? Even though I am a non-practicing Mormon myself, I am surly not going to agree with what you just posted regarding the standards and influences of the Mormon religion on women and family lifestyles. I have to laugh at your ignorant posting. If you were a practicing Mormon, you would know that current Latter Day Saint women are encouraged to go out and get a degree and make a life for themselves because they know that men are not to be soley relied upon. They are all for independance and individuality... but I'm not going to go into a battle of wits with an unarmed person... and you are clearing unarmed when it comes to an acute knowledge of the LDS faith's standards and teachings. I think no matter who writes the book... if it is making bank and is headlining every major television station and magazine headline... people are going to pick apart anything and everything they can regarding it. It's a story... deal with it. If we based any and all love stories and fairy tales on whether or not we think the story line is emotionally abusive to women, or that women are of little worth unless they are barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen cooking a meal for the MAN... than 90% of love stories on the shelves today do the same thing... Mormon or not. It is a standardized view of men and women and has nothing to do with religion. It takes time to make an idea obsolete, there will always be stories laced with this type of behavior... sprinkled with a little depicted female weakness... but all in all... it is a STORY! Quit trying to find the hidden meaning and enjoy the unique storyline. If you don't like it, don't watch it. But stop propigating fear where there need not be any. Just my two cents

[Kim]

Thou doth protest too much my friend. I have a sociology degree and know Stephamie Meyer's mormon cousin. The mormon culture is very oppressive to women. They are only encouraged today to make money because the mormon/masonic corporation wants their ten per cent. The mormon relationship to the khazar gangsters that run Hollywood is all about New world order finamcial and social control. Donnie and Marie sucked in the 70s but the Mormon cult wanted promotion, therefore ten per cent of each follower's income. They are highly Masonic (organized crime/racketeering) and abusive to women. It is a front for organized crime. Researxh khazars and how the mormons and khszarian gangsters founded money laundering/tax evading Nevada together. Mormonism has always been about money and the women were vessels to grow numbers and create a good "front" socially. In polygamy, these men did NOT have to marry and sleep with these women to "protect" them. The women were and still are exploited.

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