111 Male Characters Of British Literature, In Order Of Bangability...

...at The Awl. It's a fun one.

Lord Peter at #7! Michael Cantrip at #15! Justin Alastair at #18! Brian de Bois-Guilbert at #25! Sydney Carton at #31! Inspector Alan Grant at #43!

Gussie Fink-Nottle at #106 and Bertie at #87. I dunno. Two things make me think that they should swap places -- for one, obviously, anything involving Bertie is always a huge disaster, and secondly, Gussie can get pretty het up when he's talking about newts.

But I don't know how anyone, anywhere, could ever imagine boinking Jeeves (#65).

Or St. John Rivers (#38). Eww.

Or Maxim de Winter (#28). Eww.

Or Peter Pan (#68). Pedo eww.

Or Aslan (#32). Beasty Jesus eww.

(via Gwenda's FB)

Comments

[Chrissy]

I am disturbed and alarmed but much of this list. I enjoy that it exists, but disturbed and alarmed by several of the offerings.

[tanita]

Ummmm, maybe someone is imagining Stephen Fry as Jeeves still? And even then: um...
Aslan is horrifying on a level ... of ... yeah.
But WILLY WONKA!?!?!?!?!? Seriously!??!
And I'm sorry, but Mr. Rochester is a freak. How on God's earth did he make #1??

Yeesh.

I'm with Chrissy on this one.

[Chrissy]

Oh Dear Lord, I missed Willy Wonka?! How did I miss Willy Wonka?! Furthermore, that's just wrong.

[Bree]

Frankenstein's monster.....icky
King Lear??....ancient
Captain Hook
Tom Bombadil ....who picked these guys? Yikes!

[Bookreviewsandenglishnews.blogspot.com]

I agree that Peter Pan and Aslan are EWWWWW!!! And Frankenstein's monster. Necrophilia, vs. pedophilia vs. bestiality. Great choices here. (Where's that sarcasm font?)

But also Poirot? A fussy little Belgian guy? Really? And Thorin Oakenshield? I guess, if you're a little person yourself and really like beards.
Leopold Bloom? And Kubla Khan? Long John Silver? Hey, bad boys can be appealing, but the way he's described in the book certainly didn't do much for me, probably because we see him through the POV of a 12-year-old boy. Lear? He's old and a bit dippy. That's sexy? Charles Darnay always seemed a bit dull to me, but at least he's not a lion or made of sewn-up dead people. And Carton's an alcoholic, depressed dude with a suicide wish. uhhh. Maxim de Winter? Sure, if you like abusive murderers. Tom Bombadil? You've GOT to be joking? Sherlock Holmes? Good luck, girls; the man is supposed to be completely asexual in the books. He only admires Irene for the fact that she tricked him. Beorn? Here we are with that beastiality thing again..... And Heathcliff? There's that abusive guy thing again. You might as well just put Edward Cullen on the list and be done with it if you stick Heathcliff on. Oh, wait, we have Brian from Ivanhoe, the would-be rapist, so I guess we've got plenty of abusive males without Sparkly Eddie.

Dr. Watson, on the other hand, seems like a great choice ... especially now that he looks like Jude Law in my mind. :)
Romeo, well, he's whiney, but at least he's supposed to be young and good looking. Legolas and Robin Hood? Oh yeah. I can go with those. Lupin! Yes! And Sirius! Bond -- that's a given. So's Aragon. And Eomer's not bad, either. But no Faramir? He was always my favorite in the books.
No Dracula? He was supposed to be sexy and alluring.

Egad. I'd like to see their list of criteria for choosing these people. Lear and Falstaff, but not Henry V or Benedick, for crying out loud??! Really???

[web]

My husband asks: what is the point on that list where characters transition from "actually bangable" to "only on this list as a joke"?"

[web]

Seeing Stephen from I Capture the Castle makes me pretty sure at least some of these are based on the actors rather than the actual books...

[Ms Avery]

Steerforth?? Ew.

[rockinlibrarian]

Um, I always did have a bit of a crush on Jeeves, actually. Though that may be Stephen Fry's Jeeves. Although that may be weird of me also.

Guess the list must account for a broad variety of tastes, right? I have to admit that although I personally have never gotten the concept of seeing Wuthering Heights as a romance novel AT ALL, I am aware that there are many people in the world who actually believe Heathcliff is a very romantic hero.

But no that really doesn't explain Tom Bombadill. Particularly with the lack of Faramir.

[Bookreviewsandenglishnews.blogspot.com]

Rockinlibrarian,
I wondered even as a kid what Goldberry saw in Bombadil. They're a mismatched couple if ever there was one. (Maybe if he'd ditch those yellow boots......)

[Leila]

As it's already elicited this much response, I rather think that the list is success! :) Judging from the other comments I've seen around, I think that Frankenstein's monster is supposed to represent the absolute worst end, rather than the #111th most bangable. If that makes sense? (I think.) So the guys on that end are supposed to be of varying degrees of ick.

That does not explain how Aslan made it to #32, though.

And I know that Brian de Bois-Guilbert isn't perfect (to put, you know, a really good spin on it), but he's such a better character than boring, boring Ivanhoe.

I prefer to think of Jeeves as NOT anatomically correct. You know, like a Ken doll.

I don't have an issue with Maxim's murderous side, just with the fact that he's a COMPLETE TOOL! But I agree about Heathcliff. Yecch.

[Sarah]

Stephen Fry as Jeeves (or anyone), yes. But actual Jeeves??? That's so gross.

Robin Hood should be in the top five, surely, as should Lancelot.

Maybe they got Aslan and Prince Caspian confused? Cause PC was seriously hot in the Dawn Treader book, while Aslan is A. an animal and B. Jesus. We should not be banging either of those.

[Bookreviewsandenglishnews.blogspot.com]

No denying that Brian was an interesting character, but he's still someone I'd avoid in person. Ugh. Yeah, Ivanhoe's pretty dull. I'd say Robin Hood's the best pick out of Ivanhoe.

[Auntie M.]

I would totally do Henry Crawford way before I'd let Brian de Bois-Guilbert anywhere near my knickers. I love that Randolph Henry Ash is on there, but where oh where oh where are Jack Aubrey and Richard Sharpe???

[Megan]

I might go for Willy Wonka. He has the candy, and I really am a fat kid at heart. But-- how did greasy, creepy Snape get higher on the list than LUPIN?! Also, Shape is less bangable than Aslan. LOL.

I am, however, super happy that Robert Frobisher is on this list. I'd do him like in a heart beat. He's silly. I would also do Aragorn and Darcy, but I'm really, really confused about what Rochester is doing there at all.

[Alex]

Clearly I'm the freak who always rather fancied Bertie Wooster and wishes he was higher up the list.

Snape at 33 though??? With that nose and all that greasy hair? Excuse me while I'm a little bit sick in my mouth.

Much as I love Justin Alastair, Dominic is clearly the most bangable of all the Heyeroes.

And where's Chrestomanci?

[Leila]

Heyeroes, I love it!

I'm a sucker for noses, so Snape's nose is a plus for me -- but you're right about the greasy hair. Yecch.

I could go for the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka...

And Bertie's totally loveable -- I'd just be constantly worried about whatever hideous catastrophe was on the horizon!

[Kate]

Leila, I'm so glad I checked your blog, just in case you posted on Sunday. This list is AWESOME. I'm totally in love with Sherlock Holmes (the Laurie R. King version, though). I have some Lord Peter books checked out right now, and seeing him at #7 makes me think I should read those next. I'm not a Mr. Rochester fan, but I do love Sirius Black! And King Arthur (he's way better than Lancelot, I think). Anyhoo, thanks for the link.

[Sarah]

Alex--a very good point about Chrestomanci. And Howl too! They'd be at 1 and 2 for me.

[Jen]

Excuse me, but why is Farmamir not on the list? He is the hottest in LOTR, aside from Aragorn, who I agree with. But Eomer? Nonentity.

Also, agree that Mr Rochester is super gross.

[Jen]

Faramir

[Lisa]

Howl would be #1 on my list. Then Darcy. I don't actually need anyone else if I've got those two. :)

[Heather]

Love the list. However, how oh how did Rochester beat out Darcy!!??? Benedick, Henry V and even Hamlet are all hotter than Romeo and certainly Falstaff. My personal list would have to have Howl, John Thornton and Crawford of Lymond near the top (since this is the bangability list and NOT the long and meaningful relationship list:-)).

[cintuilymn]

unlock iphone 4
how to unlock iphone 4

Okay, well let me tell you that my computer is filled with worms and all of that, and its pretty bad, because i keep getting a lot of random pop ups every second (I have a Compaq btw) Also i have Alpha Anti virus &i heard that it a fake Protection program, so yeah. Another thing is my computer has gotten REALLY slow, and Alpha Anti Virus is blocking the websites I go on. My cousin told me to look for the programs that end with "xe" or "ex" (i forget) somewhere in my computer where they are hiding. PLease SOMEONE HELP ME . THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! Could someone that knows a lot about computers, and fixing computers, &might possibly be studying for that type of stuff, Could you PLEASE help me. Or does anyone have a number i can call, like a computer fixing hotline or something, so that they can tell what i should do step by step on the phone. Please Someone Help Me!!
unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4
Computer acting up...I need an antivirus of some kind. NOT willing to pay megabux for it. Anyone know of a DIRT CHEAP/ FREE way to download one? unlock iphone 4

unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4