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20 January 2014


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As always, read with a combination of hysterical, insane laughter and loudly shrieked "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!" I swear, I would have been able to finish LOLITA in grad school, had you been there to make it make more nonsensical sense like this.

Dude. Somewhere, the mountains are SMIRKING. With satisfaction.



I suspect I'll be pretty caps-happy for the next few days... it's going to take me at least that long to recover.

Sarah Rees Brennan

This is love. (You know, like the eternal sea.)


Oh, wow. I had remembered that the book was pretty insane but oh my golly it is so much more insane than I thought it could possibly be. I am dying here.

And yes, there is a prequel about the grandmother. I believe it's called Garden of Shadows. The grandmother used to be nice and innocent! Until...a bunch of things I forget, but probably involving incest.


I do not have the words to express the wonderfulness of this post. You win. YOU WIN EVERYTHING.

Also, the fact that this book (a)was written (b)was published and (c)remains a huge bestseller, is proof that western civilization is seriously deranged.



My keyboard nearly wore coffee by this point. Ick. I can't believe I read this book when I was 14. Actually, when I was 14 I couldn't believe I was readng the book....you just made me remember all the reasons why I hid it from my mother although weirdly,I think we used to check them out from the school library. Surely not.

L. E. Carmichael

That was EPIC.


You are a genius! I've been reading all this mediocre YA recently (Booklist assignments) and you've just reminded me how bad it could actually be. Drnk History YA at next KidLitCon FTW!


I remember loving these books when I was in junior high. Why was I even reading these in junior high? And what was I thinking that I actually loved them?

(Also, should you be looking for more V.C. Andrews books to read, I remember that at the time, My Sweet Audrina was my favorite. Come to think of it, I'm not sure whether that makes it one to seek out, or one to avoid. But there was less incest involved.)


@Shannon: I've promised myself that I will finish this series before I read My Sweet Audrina, but I *do* own it, so it's going to happen at some point. :D

@:paula: YOU ARE ON.

@Melissa: Believe it or not, when the thought occurred to me, I HAD THE SAME REACTION.



I also read this as a teen. Hmm. Maybe that explains my inexplicable desire for arsenic-covered donuts...


I remember reading ALL the V.C. Andrews books in junior high, thinking I was so "cool" and "mature." Looking back now, as an adult, I have no idea what I was thinking. (No doubt, some day my daughter will do the same with the Twilight books so that Literary History repeats itself.)
Thank you so much for your incredibly entertaining synopsis.

Kim Coffer

Oh my God, I am 're reading the series now for the 4th time mostly because of the 're made Lifetime movie and this review had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Well done!!


EGADS. That sounds even worse than the first one, and I didn't think that was humanly possible! WHY were these books so popular?? They're not even so-bad-they're-good -- they're claw-your-eyes-out-and-set-fire-to-your-brain bad!


Here is my book math for entire Dollanger Series:
Dollanger Series MINUS incest and sexual depravity PLUS Roald Dahl (Willy Wonka EQUALS . . .

Lemony Snickett.

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